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Further away, the full sails grains of salt thrown into the wind . . . The pear tree prints its buds across my back, my hands, bright drops of light, in the wind. Light, Break through this husk, this mask of ‘Goodbye’ . . . Why was I crying? It was as if some courteous hand had touched my eyes, and I saw, in that thin Sixties backyard in Seattle, the abundant tree open out its branches, white-gold wings protective of our waiting, of our wishes, still too light for us to hold. Primitive Painting: Liberation Day Everyone is wearing work clothes, old clothes, boots; and old uniforms , painted green and brown, like trees. The new government has asked everyone to assemble in the center of the Old City, and has given everyone small ribbons to wear, stiff flowers. Two men in business suits are pouring wine into cups, at a long trestle table; a few of the men and women have begun to drink. At the bottom corner of the painting is a row of bright green leaves, like a signature. A tall man, in the foreground, looks straight out into the painter’s eyes; his hands are crossed over his genitals. There are no children, or animals, in this picture; no one makes a sound, or has another side. 168 door in the mountain This is a desert, and they call it peace, this is Liberation Day; the new government is drunk again, and the painter’s fear is white in his paint. Awake, This Summer I see you a minute, a year ago, at the door of our friend’s empty room, your eyes, the slanted-back weight of your body, moseying around. That night, your hand jumped in your sleep, you said “Everyone was friends” . . . Late summer mornings I slept in your side, in the sun, and to all your wishes in my sleep I wished “Yes.” A year’s ocean of sleep we moved in, without air; no one was friends. Awake, this summer, first finished with that, my chest hurts, and the shallowest breath is life. Mandelstam 1934–35. The time of his arrest and imprisonment in Moscow, and his exile, with his wife Nadezhda Jakolevna Khazina, to Voronezh. My mother’s house Russia home.deep.blue 169 ...

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