-
Spring, in Five Parts
- Wesleyan University Press
- Chapter
- Additional Information
85 SPRING,INFIVEPARTS 1. Here’spaper.Here’sink inasteadylinethroughthepen inmyhand.Here’stheword wordandhereandhand. Canyouthinkaboutthinking? Canyoutakewhateverpassesthere, theshreddedpostcarddeliveredanyway, piecedtogetheroutbythecurb inatruck,andtaped?Thoughtlike agenecomedownthroughthepool, medievalmoment,thebright,sweatyRenaissance, everypainterstrainingtowardaceiling. Thenintothatriverworld,anewcontinent, swiftwayfromheretothere,trees inthedistanceortoocloseandyoucan’t seeathing.Hewasreallyacomposer,thepoetsaid aboutthepoet.Hekeptrewritingthoselines thewayacomposerhearsthings. Tinkeringdark,Ithought,upto—notlight. Itwasamajorkey.Orthereverse,theutter reverseoftheangle.Itdropsintoshade, sinksbackandback,noteven rememberedanymore,thosetrees, thatcontinent. 86 2. Weweregirls,highgirlhood,fifteen orsixteen.Andthenun notmucholderinthatordinaryschool onceanovitiate,notthen,not whenwestoodthereinspring,thegrounds woodedandterraced,thelightbulbs bare,hungbytheircords. Thehallwaybent toasprayofnewlight,threeofus talkingtoher,theyoungwomaninthose blackrobesstill—VaticanII onlyawish,astart.Herface solikeourfaces,quickenedandblank byturns,openedandclosed,curious,then just-standing-by.Andthereligiouslife, shecalledit,thisthingshe steppedintothinkingworldso perfect.Shesoundedlike singing,lownoteandnonote.Orsadly— wasitsad?—hersudden oldtoouryoung,herinsidetoouroutside. ButIforgot,shesaid,whenyougoanywhere, youbringyourself. [3.135.219.166] Project MUSE (2024-04-18 06:24 GMT) 87 3. Iknewexactly.Andthen Ididn’t.Wasthereaporch inallthis?Wasthereahouse? Lightwaxingoutthere,then waning.Acat slowandfragileandmean andsweetbyturns.Hequickened toamouse,butonly afalseone,fattenedbycatnip andfullofsewnseams.Days unwindthemselves.It’sMonday, thenFriday,alotofwalking inbetween,alotofriding inthecar.Alotofspoontomouth, alotoftalktalktalk.Icould,Isuppose. ImeanIcan,Isaid,agreeing. Really,it’sthecatatnight,finding thatmouseagain.Atoymouse,buthe’s thrilled.Thrilled.Ihearhim inthedark,hiscommunion. 88 4. Therearequestions.Doesthebird seethefeederfirst?Ordoeshishunger findit?It’sfull,thenempty inlessthantwodays.Theirsinging doesn’tchangethesubject.Aflock cleansitout.Thatwouldmean sparrowsorcrows.Nottherarecoupling, nuthatchorcardinal. Whichisonlytosay, it’sspring.Thelettucebarely fringeintheraisedbed,daysyoucloset wintercoatsbacktotheirdark,whenyou thinkaboutdraggingscreens fromthebasement. Thinkabout— Anabruptness,rightnow.Dawn eatsnightearlierthesemornings. Dreamsstranger:oldhouses leftbehindbythedead, nothingunchanged inthekitchen,notthemodeltrain setupalongtheceiling’sedge, notthescorchedpots, thedentedspoons.Tokeepornot tokeep.NotthatIknow whattocareabout,whattocastaway. [3.135.219.166] Project MUSE (2024-04-18 06:24 GMT) 89 5. Soshadeovertakesthepondforanhour. Partofthepond.Part ofthehour.I’dknowmyplace onthewater,myhands howeverawkward,theotherside loomingup,closer witheverybadstroke.Butmyplace inthatlocket?Ibroodthroughthenight asmuchasanyone,nowandthen checkingtheclock,enormous withitstickingthoughthegears aretiny,theirlittleteethcatch almostnothing.It’sMay, orit’sApril.Allafternoon prettymuchhowitsounds:all, thenafternoon.Theway,coming outofsurgery,Isawaroom slowandfillitselfin richly,withoutme. ...