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83 ELEVATOR Lower฀floor.฀฀And฀it’s฀all฀about standing฀there฀at฀a฀bus฀stop฀with฀maybe฀ my฀fidgety฀brother,฀years฀before or฀alone,฀years฀of฀no฀car,฀when฀living฀ in฀a฀city฀meant฀patience,฀repeatedly looking฀up฀the฀street.฀฀Without฀metaphor฀now, I’m฀here,฀on฀the฀linoleum of฀the฀great฀university,฀looking฀up at฀numbers฀going฀red and฀ascending.฀฀And฀that฀sound—wind฀tunnel in฀the฀wall,฀this฀thing฀of฀vertical฀passage between฀realms,฀between฀where฀I฀am฀ and฀where฀I฀must,฀between฀here฀and฀up฀there on฀another฀floor฀where฀people฀ open฀envelopes฀right฀into฀the฀trash, nodding฀I฀know฀exactly฀what you฀mean,฀people฀meaning฀to฀tell a฀roomful฀that฀Henry฀James฀was฀a฀genius฀ of฀the฀edgy฀compound฀sentence,฀ditto฀ Jane฀Austen฀of฀those฀big฀ houses,฀low฀fire฀in฀the฀grate lost,฀after฀the฀fact,฀occasional tickertape฀floating฀lightly฀to฀earth on฀the฀English฀countryside. Third฀floor.฀฀Fourth.฀฀Every฀stop฀ stops฀to฀the฀buzz฀of฀a฀fake฀floor flush฀to฀the฀real฀floor฀rooted on฀girders,฀the฀door฀opening฀to฀disgorge— to฀disrobe,฀my฀brother฀might฀have฀said.฀฀Entry฀ into฀the฀next฀world฀for฀whatever฀stalwart travelers฀come฀so฀far฀or฀so฀slightly,฀ straight฀up฀or฀straight฀down.฀฀And฀now฀it’s down.฀฀It’s฀coming฀down฀slow and฀slowly.฀฀I฀have฀time. I฀can฀lean฀my฀forehead against฀the฀cool฀metal:฀฀this฀ 84 blip,฀sweet฀riff฀off฀the฀main฀music, arteries฀and฀veins in฀that฀darkness,฀rush and฀pull฀of฀something฀saved฀from must-I-live-forever-on-this-floor? Thick฀ropey฀wires฀with฀never฀ enough฀give฀to฀move฀without฀bolting,฀this฀start and฀stop฀that฀will฀be฀legend฀one฀day:฀฀there฀once฀was a฀thing฀called฀an฀elevator.฀฀And฀the฀odd graphic฀on฀the฀computer฀screen฀ will฀show฀a฀few฀strangers฀crowding the฀smallest฀room in฀the฀building,฀looking฀straight฀ahead, shuffling฀sideways฀to฀make฀space for฀the฀young฀woman,฀the฀exhausted฀ baby฀in฀her฀arms,฀child฀who cries฀with฀such฀spirit.฀฀I฀hear฀it฀now,฀my฀ear against฀the฀closed฀doors,฀something unearthly,฀not฀human฀yet, filtering฀down฀the฀shaft,฀distant such฀weeping,฀the฀way฀stars are฀muffled฀on฀cloudy฀nights then฀reveal฀themselves,฀barely, who฀they฀were so฀many฀light฀years฀ago. ฀฀฀฀฀ ...

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