Address

This Is Not a Poem about Katherine Harris

( ( ( 33 this is not a poem about katherine harris (R-13th District Florida) When I announced my support for the “Stop Sex Trafficking”Act I dressed as tastefully as I could without compromising my syndicated cleavage. When I announced my support for this Act, I was not denouncing sexual acts per se, even when performed for political advantage. When I denounced my support for sex trafficking, I was flanked by a Republican from Ohio with whom I was not having sex and a Democrat from NewYork, whose assets I had eyed only briefly. What kind of act was this? Though educated in Switzerland I have no understanding whatsoever of clouds or of cloud-painting. Meteorology means observing the natural advantages of sunlight 34 ) ) ) between the elevator and the congressional Hummer. I prefer to be shot from the lower right when speaking to a male interlocutor. I prefer to be considered a serious fox by those who can ignore my network affiliations. Sooner or later I’ll be sliding to the other side. I’ll be in the Senate like a tongue in a bottle. I have never attempted to take responsibility for the space shuttle’s successful lunch, though I am a firm advocate of low-carb monosyllabic government and have committed adultery with unemployment figures and have enjoyed a pun or two of my own. When I came out against terrorism I was not “coming out.” When I came out against the sex trade it was not about me it was about money. When it was not about money it was about Congress. ( ( ( 35 When it was not about the sanctity of the House it was about the future of the Senate and when it was not about that, it was about Dynasty, which I recommend in reruns, and when it was not about family executive privilege, it was about real estate. It was about running. It was about time we had the kind of coup we’ve been giving to the rest of our friends, it’s time we photographed ourselves next to African American constituents, it’s time we talked about freedom of religion for marginalized fundamentalist Christians. It’s time to “revitalize our economy” by clicking on Diversity. It’s time to break ground with our brownest neighbors. It’s time we called our gulf the Mediterranean of the Americas. It’s time to toast and be toasted. To clink and run, to veritably jingle. 36 ) ) ) It’s time to expand homeland security through terror. It’s time to honor our veterans with combat-inspired video games distributed free to wheelchairs everywhere. It’s time we referred to their poorest hospitals as Liberty Housing. It’s time for all of us to “Protect Our Children” from easy access to Medicaid, prescription drugs, and the protracted violence of a liberal education. Homelessness has been so well fixed that everyone I know has at least one somewhere else, a home in the sand and one in the bush. You who can recognize an easy link, a family plan, a vindication, a meal ticket, a personal payback when you see one, be sure to check out the greatWhite House page on the benefits of CAftA. ( ( ( 37 When Florida says no to drilling, it’s not because we don’t like oil, it’s just our way of sending a message from my gulf to yours. You’d better think twice before you write this down because I’ve got friends who’ve got friends in the IrS and aviation who know how to read. You’d better decide that we’ve never had sex that the mic didn’t work that you got it all wrong that I only resemble the fox you describe that all of us were acting the only way we knew how. ...