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24 A Shattered Image Enemy artillery impacting inside the An Loc perimeter remained at such a level of intensity that staying alive above ground was very chancy. The battalion ’s defensive lines had been adjusted so the troops could move into buildings providing some degree of protection. Fighting positions were selected that offered good visibility and grazing fire down streets and alleys, across intersections, and into nearby ruins occupied by the enemy. Most of the buildings in the inner part of the city were constructed of cement block or poured concrete, and when knocked apart the rubble could be stacked and piled to make protected fighting positions. Some of the structures had basements , and soldiers took turns going below ground to rest and cook when they weren’t engaged in confronting the enemy. In many cases North Vietnamese soldiers were directly across the street from our positions, and their proximity was emphasized when several paratroopers told me they had heard enemy leaders instructing their men to catch the American. As far as I knew I was the only American in the area and was surprised the North Vietnamese had seen me, or even knew I was close-by. There was very little comfort in learning the enemy would rather catch than kill me, and I spent a number of restless hours in the dead of night thinking through my limited options if capture should suddenly become imminent. The rifle company’s strong points and fighting positions stretched about four blocks. They were mutually supporting and tied in with other units on both flanks. Once the adjustments had been completed to Colonel Hieu’s satisfaction , he decided to move the command group off the front line and into a more central location. Since there were only a half dozen of us, our needs were dictated more by security than size. The battalion commander detailed me to locate a more suitable place to move into. I took a pair of soldiers from upstairs to keep me company, and the three of us went scurrying through 120 Chapter 24 the destruction behind the forward positions in search of a good command post. Peering into a walled compound about halfway down the line and on the back side of the block, we found a one-story house with windows in the foundation, indicating a basement. It appeared a likely location and warranted a closer examination. There wasn’t any sign of life in the place as I ran through the back door and into the kitchen. Artillery fire had smashed holes in the roof, and the rooms were trashed and littered with broken tiles and rubbish. My two companions started going through the rooms to ensure they were clear. I saw the basement door and paused to listen for any sounds from below before I cautiously went down the steps. When I got to the bottom I poked my shotgun around a corner and glimpsed a threatening figure moving at the end of the dim hallway. My response was immediate—I triggered off a load of 00 buckshot and quickly jerked back out of sight. The blast of the shotgun was followed by cement chips and pellets bouncing off the walls. I reached around the corner and pumped three more loads of buckshot down the hallway. There wasn’t any return fire. I quickly reloaded my shotgun and knelt down to peer around the corner, but couldn’t see anyone on the floor. Just dust and gunsmoke floating in the air. I was getting ready to roll a grenade down the hall when it all began to come into a better focus. The frame of a large mirror on the far wall was smashed and knocked cockeyed. The menacing presence I’d glimpsed had disappeared with the mirror. That was a serious moment of self-recognition and reappraisal for me. First of all it came as something of a surprise to realize I had developed such a hair trigger in An Loc’s environment of stress and survival. I had not even considered a non-hostile possibility before I shot. I was also sobered by how much my physical appearance had changed, and obviously not for the better . I certainly hadn’t recognized the figure at the end of the hall. Even though the battalion’s soldiers stayed under cover day and night, gossip still traveled with amazing speed. Only a few of the officers ventured to joke with me about the mirror incident...

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