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Jake Heard From: Marengo Melons and How They Made Mr. Humphrey's Fortune
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JakeHeardFrom Marengo Melons and How They Made Mr. Humphrey's Fortune "Dis yer's watermillion time 0' year agin," remarked Jake, halting at the corner and .. surveying a street blockaded with wagons. "Hit sho' is," assented a bystander, named Johnson. It may be remarked parenthetically that Mr. Johnson is always unanimous on the subject of watermelons , and the very slightest prospect ofa treat is sufficient to divert him from the never very serious business with which he happens to be occupied. "Hit'll be my time to set me up next time," continued Mr. Johnson. "Right now at dis present time I'm like I yeared a caydet say he was wonst." "How was dat?" inquired Jake. "He lowed he was firanchilly imbarrass," and by way of illustrating his meaning, Mr. Johnson turned his trouser pockets wrong side out. "Dey tells me watermillions is pizen sickly dis year," remarked Jake. 204 / Jake Heard From "I'm willin' to resk 'em ef anybody willin' to furnish de scads," said Mr. Johnson. "You aint usened to watermillions like dis," said Jake. "What de reason I aint?" inquired Johnson. "Caze you aint never lived in M'ringer, whar watermillions grows in bunnance," said Jake. "Don't care efI aint, I've lived in Flurridy," said Mr[.] Johnson, indignantly. "Flurridy is Flurridy," said Jake sententiously, "but M'ringer hit's a different thing. I've yeared tell dey was a right smart chance 0' some things in Flurridy, sich es alligators an' pine trees an' frogs, but wen hit come to watermillions, Flurridy aint no whar side 0' M'ringer." Mr. Johnson uttered a prolonged grunt. "H-u-m-ph! Dat what you say. Dat's all you knows about Flurridy. You aint never been dar. You aint never seed waggins an cyarts an wheelborrers haulin' watermillions and mushmillions to de depot all day an part 0' de night. You aint never seed whole trains wid sebenteen cyars all [l]oaded up wid nothin' but watermillions f'om one een to de yuther, and hit got hit's haid pinted up north to take em to de big cities." "How come I aint?" inquired Jake. "Caze you aint never been in Flurridy." "Dat's right," admitted Jake. "You plumped the middle man out dat time, but you aint got de game yit. To taw hit de groun on de wrong side 0' de dead line. He! Haw! Haw! De folks down in Flurridy day be dat po' dey hatter sell all de watermillions dey raises to git money to buy bread. Dey dassent to keep a little ole similin to eat yit[.] Down dar in Mringer, de onlies reason dey don't ship train loads 0' watermillions offhit's caze dey aint got no casion to. Dey got money nough. Dey aint no po' crackers." [18.116.20.177] Project MUSE (2024-04-17 21:14 GMT) Jake Heard From / 205 "Is all de M'ringer folks got money?" "Cose dey is." "I'm sho glad to year dat, caze I knowed you was a M'ringer man an I was scared you never had de scads to buy us one 0' dem in dis yander waggin." "Ifever you sees a M'ringer man whar ain't got bunnance money, you des fetch him to me. He'll be des es good a show es I want to see, an' I'll give you a quarter des to let me look at him[.] You ain't gwine to fine nair'n, dough. An' more'n dat, you ain't never gwine to fine nair M'ringer man whar pay money for watermillions. Shucks! Hit ain't down dar like hit is up yer. I've seed dese yere country folks come five mile up yer to Aubu'n des to buy a fi' cent watermillion, and de grass runnin' way wid dey craps. Ef you was down dar in M'ringer a plowin', an' you was to git watermillion hongry, all you'd hatter do, you'd des hatter tell yo' mule to wo, an' stoop down an' pick up one off'n de groun'. I've seed de cotton rows pack~d dat tight wid wa[t]ermillions tell you couldn't plow 'em. Hit's a fact, sah, des like I tells you. My ole moster lost seben mules dat way in one day wonst." "How?" "Dey was plowin' cotton, an' dey stumbled 'gin watermillions an' fell down." "Efdem had a been...