The Marengo Jake Stories: The Tales of Jake Mitchell and Robert Wilton Burton

A M'ringer Rat Story: Old Jake's Midnight Adventure in a Corn Field

AM)ringerRatStory Old Jake's Midnight Adventure in a Corn Field A MEETING OF RATS TO CONSIDER IMAGINARY GRIEVANCES, WHICH WOUND UP IN A SAD CATASTROPHE A party ofcadets, dressed in gray uniforms with bright brass buttons, happened to pass the spot where Jake was at work. "Umph-ph!" grunted Jake. "I never is seed sich a pooty passel 0' young gentemens . 1 wouldn't be sprised ef dey aint got some backer or sumpin dey wants to give way." "Rats!" cried the boys in chorus. "y'all talks a heap bout rats," observed Jake. "I years it constant. But y'all don't know nothin' bout rats, caze dey ain't no rats hardly in dis po country." The boys stopped to listen, and Jake proceeded: "Mr. Watlin'ton he could a tole y'all sumpin' bout rats, caze he come f'om down dar in M'ringer; but Mr. Watlin'ton he's done graduate and gone down in de piny woods, leamin' boys how to shoot de idee. Dat's what 1 yeared Mr. Wilk'son say." "I don't believe there were any rats in Marengo," re- A MJringer Rat Story / 129 marked one ofthe boys. "You never saw a rat in your life till you came up here." "Yah! Yah! Yah!" laughed Jake, holding his sides, "efdat aint de funnies' thing ever I yeard yet. I never would a come to dis town to see a rat. Dey's some things yer what dey call rats, but dey mighty nigh starve to death, an' dey look like dey never is ta'se corn in dey life. Rats aint gwine to staywhar dey can't git nothin to eat, an' I don't blame 'em. Efdey gits any corn up yer dey hatter break open de crib do' wid a crowbar , an' den dey got to sweep de flo' fo' dey'll fine air nubbin. Down dar in M'ringer de folks made so much corn dey never had nowhar to put it at. De cribs wouldn't hole it, an' dey des hatter pile hit up in de fiel an' bui!' a boa'd shelter over hit. No wonder dey was so many rats down dar. An' dey got fat an' sassy, too, mon, des like a man what had a big office a'while. Dey use to do des like folks does. Dey hilt meetin's an' pass res'lutions an pint committy, an' dey had 'lections an' made speeches an tole lies des same es folks." "How many rats did you ever see at one time?" "Well, sah, I couldn't tell you how many dey was, coze I couldn't count 'em. Dey fa'rly kivered de yeth. Hit was one moonlight night in de fall 0' de year, des about corn-pullin' time. I was a knockin' 'bout in de fiel', caze I had a idea 0' gwine a cotin' dat night. De corn it was in piles all 'bout over de fie!'. Es I was walkin' 'long studyin' 'bout what I was gwine to tell de patterolers efdey cotch me, all ofa sudden 1 yeard somebody a talkin'. I looked up, I did, an' man, sah! 1 seed 2,000,000 rats gethered together roun' a big corn pile." "Who was it talking?" "Hit was dem rats. Rats kin talk good es anybody w'en dey mine to. "I [']lowed I was gwine to year what dey had to say, caze 130/ A MJringer Rat Story 1 knowed by de way so many ob 'em was gethered together dey was up to sump'n. "I drapped down hine a little corn pile, an' I sot dar an' watch an' listen. "Torecklya big ole fat rat he tuck an' clam up on top 0' de big corn pile, an' he let in an' made a speech. He 'lowed: '''Gentemens an' feller-citizens: Whose lan' is dis?' "All dem yuther rats hollered: '''Hits we-alI's!' "'You's mighty right,' dat big rat says, says he: 'Hit blong to de horny-toed, long-tail grabblers whar work for dey livin' an' eats dey bread in de sweat 0' de brow.' "Wid dat dey all whooped an' yell same es a crowd 0' folks at a free bobbycue. "I tuck an' peeped roun' to see what kine 0' rat dat was a talkin', an' man, sah! 1ain't a stannin' yer...