Thirty Rooms to Hide In: Insanity, Addiction, and Rock 'n' Roll in the Shadow of the Mayo Clinic

One Last Good Christmas

205 ONE LAST GOOD CHRISTMAS 6 Mom, in a long letter to her parents, November 6, 1965 I have just returned from Hartford very much encouraged and— this you will find hard to believe but will have to accept as a fact—in love with my husband! This whole thing is so mysterious to me— the working of the mind and the heart—that I realize you cannot be expected to understand any of it—nor do I. From the moment of arrival in Hartford, I could see this was a new man! He looks in splendid health—thinner, tan, his face free from the harassed lines and frantic eyes. He may be greyer but he looks younger. But the most miraculous part is the personality change! He is kind, considerate, eager to understand me, tender and loving. I spent the entire week with him—from Thursday noon to Thursday noon—and never a hard word, never a criticism, nothing but gentleness! I know this is hard for you to believe—it is for me, too. But when my train pulled out of Hartford, I felt an anguish of separation such as I haven’t known since the Navy days. Except for Monday and Tuesday when we were in Mystic Seaport and two nights when we saw a play and a movie, we did nothing but talk! It was as exciting as a courtship—it was like getting to know a new person. Of course, there are many things I see in him that are troublesome—he is very unsure of himself, uncertain how to do ordinary things like make a telephone call, and he is extremely nervous about being with people, and his memory is very faulty. But Dr. Spence says these things will gradually improve. He thought that it might be possible for Roger to make a Christmas visit home, but warned that everything depends upon how he feels as that time draws near. ONE LAST GOOD CHRISTMAS 206 He warned also that there are good and bad times in this process— and spoke of Roger as having been “very sick.” So I am trying not to be too enthusiastic about the results of my week in Hartford. Notes from the Hartford psychiatric record, October 29, 1965 The patient reported the visit went extremely well. He found that he was able to discuss many difficulties with his wife that they had been unable to deal with in the past. It is evident both from the patient and his wife that the time spent together was the first time in their recent married life they were able to communicate with each other. The therapist has pointed out to both of them that the brevity of their contact was different from day-to-day existence at home. However, both the patient and his wife have agreed to another visit in the Hartford area and are also planning for the patient to go home for Christmas vacation to spend some time with the children. A letter from Kip on one coast to Dad on the other, November 10, 1965 Dear Dad: When I got letters from both you and Mom saying you both had a good time, I could’ve jumped for joy. You mentioned some of the changes in the family you’ve sensed already. Man, just think what a difference this will mean for all of us. God, that sounds good! Dad, written while at Hartford, to Kip in California, November 15, 1965 Dear Kipper: Monday morning has rolled around again—another week gone by and am delighted to report that I am feeling better and better. Do wish there were some way of speeding up this process of emotional regrouping. It is impossible to describe to anyone who hasn’t been through this business how painful and actually exhausting it is. Am convinced, however, that the months spent now will mean so much more happiness in the future. I’ve already, of course, seen the difference in your mom’s response in the short time that she was here. Can also hear it in the kids’ voices at home. Called yesterday and Collin and Luke were ONE LAST GOOD CHRISTMAS 207 bubbling over on the phone. Even that experienced man-abouttown , Jeff, sounded great. Mama’s change since her return home after our visit has made itself felt in the kids doing better school work, staying...