Jubilee: Six Film Scripts

B Movie: Little England/A Time of Hope

B MOVIE: LITTLE ENGLAND/A TIME OF HOPE This page intentionally left blank B MOVIE B Movie was a chance to snap out of the worthy Bob-Up-ADown . Julian Sands, the handsome young actor, was writing a play on John Donne, and was undecided which way his life would take him- writer,film-maker,director. He had appeared briefly in the Broken English video, but with a skull's mask, a year or so before. He was great fun to work with. This was to be a light hearted 'Carry On' of Jubilee. Where do these things come from? The Villian, BorgiaGinz was a good start. Mrs T. had gone mad in the ideological jumble sale, flogging the silver, then the china, and the table itself. The worst had come to roost like vultures in the great hall at Westminster, picking through the tatters of the past, threadbare flags in a cathedral. Janet Street-Porter, an old friend, would have made an excellent Veronica. Adam isof course Adam Ant, whose career had blossomed from the Megalovision camper. England is sold off, a Disney theme park. Revolution triumphs. I would love to have made this film, but it is too late now. The vultures swooped and took the Iron Lady to the Other Place. Everyonehas their can openers at the ready.This isthe role of the Late Windsors, and their Castle. When will the little recipe from Exit be brought up by the butler? 117 This page intentionally left blank 1. INT. WESTMINSTER HALL CATAFALQUE. TV SEQUENCE In the glittering candlelight, frozen in a cube of ice, the body of LORD PROTECTOR GiNZ, dictator of all England, lies in state on a huge pile of red and white roses. At the four corners of the bier OFFICERS of the Household Guardstand vigil. The PEOPLE OF ENGLAND, having queued all night, pass by in silence to pay their last respects to the sound of a muffled drum roll. ANNOUNCER: And now, in this beautiful and historic hall in Westminster, resting place of so many Kings and Queens, deep in the night, the people of England file past the catafalque with its emotive red and white roses on which lies the body of Lord Protector Ginz, dictator of all England. [The drum roll has ushered in the first movement of Beethoven's 5th Symphony. At the four corners of the bier stand OFFICERS of the Household Guard in theirscarletand gold uniforms, with black armbands, the traditional symbol of mourning. We cut to the MOURNERS and notice they are chained to each other like convicts. GUARDS stand in the shadows with machine guns.] For two days now the never ending stream of mourners has filed past the bier to catch a final glimpse of the leader they loved so dearly. How moved the Protector would have been by this display of loyalty and indeed if his dreams are fulfilled he will no doubt comment on this from beyond the grave. All day heads of state have been flying into London for tomorrow's service which will be conducted by the Archbishop of Canterbury in the refrigerated vaultsof the Churchill centre for suspended animation where the Lord 119 DEREK JARMAN Protector Ginz will be the first Head of State. His last words were: 'I will succeed beyond Lenin's wildest dreams'. 2. EXT. SOTHEBY'SSALEROOM. DAY ADAM, a young busker, stands at the door of Sotheby's auction roomplaying hisguitar. The song isdrowned out by the sound of cars arriving for an auction. Rolls Royces and Cadillacs deliver Arabs, Japanese, Africans, Russians, etc . . . who push past the young singer ignoring him. A JAPANESE BUSINESSMAN in a very grey suit stops to pose his WIFE with ADAM to take a photo. He gives him 5Op with Borgia's head engraved on it as a tip. JAPANESE: Ah ta ta pa attatta pa aah JAPANESE WIFE: Photo suchi mi ha [The photo is taken.] JAPANESE WIFE: Yama ha Tokio [They turn to enter the auction room.} ADAM: [Under his breath} Hiroshima 3. INT. SOTHEBY'S AUCTIONROOM.DAY Hanging on the walls at the back of the auction room behind the auctioneer's podium is a large map of England. The podium is decorated with limply hanging bunting. There isa babble of voices from the crowd. The AUCTIONEER takes his place on the podium. AUCTIONEER: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Under the terms of Lord...