The Bullhead Queen: A Year on Pioneer Lake

Rowing the Mutant Canoe

145 Rowing the Mutant Canoe W aiting for us at the edge of Pioneer Lake, at the foot of our dock, is an odd sort of watercraft, perhaps unique in the entire Chisago Lakes area. As a biologist, I might term it a chimera—that is, a misfit organism of two genetically distinct parents. It is a creature that doesn’t occur naturally. Chimeras are usually forced into being through the active imagination of a human being, say, through laboratory manipulation. Our Pioneer chimera is a canoe that can be rowed as a scull. My husband has taken out the middle thwart of our seventeen-foot Old Town canoe and replaced it with a contraption of aluminum tubing and padded webbing. In one position, it serves as a central seat for a rower. When flipped around, it becomes a cushy portage yoke for resting the craft on the shoulders. In addition, he has affixed a second contrivance , labeled by its manufacturer as a “rowing outrigger ,” directly aft of the added seat/yoke. This gadget, also constructed of aluminum for lightness and strength, clamps to the gunwales of the canoe and provides a place to position the oarlocks that hold the oars propelling the chimera through the water. The oars are the remaining elements of the scull parentage of our fantastical creature. They are wholly unlike our trusty canoe paddles, and not even remotely similar to the clunky wooden oars I plied as a child. These propellants sport “spoon blades” at their termini, which are cupped, similar to kayak paddles. Their manufacturer claims that they “hold the water” thirty-one inches of a stroke. I presume this means that if one measured the arc of a stroke from start to finish, thirty-one inches of its length would be in the water. While it seems strange that someone would describe an oar in this way, this quality seems somehow fitting for a chimera, a quirky invention to begin with. Our family is fond of its canoes. They provide a chief form of activity during the months of open water. We haul them off to streams and rivers near and far on pleasant summer days. It is a little unsettling to me to walk down to the lake and see our beloved green Old Town gussied up in aluminum contrivances, clamped and screwed and braced along its length. I pat its sleek Royalex flank: that’s OK, that’s OK, I murmur. We’ll take you to the Boundary Waters, too. The birth of our chimera is a convoluted tale. It begins nearly thirty years ago, when my husband and I lived in St. Paul and bicycled along the Mississippi River each day on our way to the university. On early mornings, we’d glimpse a rowing team out on the water and admire the swift sleekness of the sculls as they glided past, the coxswain calling out the rhythm. Such an elegant activity. Tom especially was taken with the sport. Years passed. We settled on the shores of Pioneer, grew to middle age, and became restless. There’s something about turning forty that rekindles old attractions. A reflective soul thinks, “I have a limited amount of time left here. I’d like to do this . . .” Tom thought being the owner of a single-person scull would be a fine way to enjoy his middle years. He justified his yearning by considering it an excellent way to exercise and maintain upper body strength. A competitive swimmer, he was finding it difficult to get to the local pool 146 Rowing the Mutant Canoe on a regular basis. Ascull on Pioneer would be so convenient and had the added attraction of being an outdoor activity. When he went online to price out the elegant, high-tech craft, however, he blanched. A single-person scull could be had for two thousand dollars. Even when in the grip of midlife yearning, he thought that too extravagant an indulgence. Cruising on the Internet, Tom stumbled on an alternative possibility, something truly “other.” A small, family-owned company based on Minnesota’s Iron Range offered canoe and kayak “accessories.” Now, these were not accessories one normally considers for such boats—paddles, seats. These were wildly creative and designed to meet needs only dedicated canoeists might hanker for, while enduring a milelong portage or a headwind down a very long lake. They included more comfortable yokes for...