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Contents Preface / ix Vicolo Forni / 1 Permesso di Soggiorno / 7 A Page Boy in Pavarotti’s Restaurant / 10 Sleeping with Nuns / 13 Il Cappuccino / 18 Lord Arnold and the Knight / 23 Terror and Courtesy at the Esselunga Supermercato / 29 Foiling the Cheese Thieves / 33 Mold Makes a Good Salami Great / 35 “The Poor Meatball!” / 38 Rats in the Canals, Peacocks in the Piazza / 42 The Bicycle Thief / 49 Treachery and Treason amid the Subcommittee of Vespa Paint / 55 Norman the Conqueror / 59 Eat Your Hat, Cowboy / 65 A Night at the Opera / 68 Four, Five, Sex . . . / 71 Lessons from Guido / 75 Arrangiati! / 86 A Risky Subject / 90 Casino or Casinò? / 97 Commie Pigs? / 102 Never Trust a Thin Cook / 105 Angry Noodles / 109 Walking over Death / 113 Super Pig Trotter / 115 Reggio’s Blockheads and Bologna’s Baloney / 119 The Secret World of the Balsamic Vinegar Elite / 124 Pet Pigs / 129 Buon Natale! / 133 Sunny Italy / 137 The Hot Springs of Ischia / 144 Naples at New Year’s / 148 San Geminiano and the Festival of Fog / 157 Soccer Season / 161 Truffles and Cotechino / 169 Porn and Puritans / 173 La Tivù / 176 Politics, Italian Style / 179 The Art of Eating / 184 Eating Venus’s Navel / 188 Back to High School / 191 La Ferrari / 196 Touch Your Balls for Luck! / 205 Why Would You Ever Leave? / 209 Parli Italiano? / 219 Acknowledgments / 227 ...

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