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26 Anticipating Yesterday, Remembering Tomorrow A white stern-wheeler slides downriver for Ohio. Its paddles plow the river rough until they seem to falter and reverse. I’ve seen the same illusion in the backward-spinning tires of a car accelerating forward, props revolving clockwise counterclockwise, trains departing from a town departing from a train departing. To break the spell, I focus on the stern-wheel’s hub and slide into a memory of Paris . . . At Notre Dame a life I seemed to know preceded me. On Montparnasse I told myself I must have come that way before I came that way. No matter where I walked, I kept retreating into what came next. Even the Seine deceived me with its waves blown west, its current coasting east . . . The wheel I watch keeps wheeling me behind, ahead, around. I clutch my lashes to the wind and wait. When I release, I know a place I’ve never seen. 27 I see a time I’ve known forever. Is it tomorrow, yesterday, today? I drink a breath. I breathe my life away. ...

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