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302 One-Liners or Less What made Elizabeth admit, “I’m not attractive to men . . .” Or Patti state, “My brother is so good he’s boring.” Or Dolores in her eighties claim, “I want more birthdays, but I don’t want to celebrate them.” Or Barbara, once divorced, concede, “The world is ruled by couples.” Such frankness in women makes the truth less fearsome if admitted when faced, and there’s a lighter side as well. Watching his wife in underwear peruse the mail, he asked, “What if a strange man walked in?” Without pausing to look up, she said, “You are a strange man.” After a party-crasher mocked his French hostess by stating, “Your meal was fit for a pig,” she smiled a Parisian smile and said, “So glad you felt at home.” But Marilyn Monroe outdid them all. When asked if she had something on when Joe DiMaggio proposed, she answered with grave innocence, “The radio. . . .” The shorter the line, the keener the wit—the keener 303 the wit, the surer the touch— the surer the touch, the truer the art that knows when one word more will be a word too much. ...

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