Selections from The Art of Party Crashing in Medieval Iraq

Those Who Cast Aspersions on Party-Crashing and Its Practitioners and Satirize and Denounce Them

30 Those Who Cast Aspersions on Party-Crashing and Its Practitioners and Satirize and Denounce Them 58 Al-Hasan ibn Abu Bakr told us, Muhammad ibn ‘Abd Allah ibn Ibrahim al-Shafi‘i told us, Muhammad ibn Ghalib told us, Yahya ibn Isma‘il al-Wasiti told us, Mu‘tammar ibn Sulayman told us, Qurra related to me on the authority of Muhammad, Ibn ‘Umar quotes this line: He loves the wine that his friends buy him, and hates to part with his own cash! 60 Muhammad ibn al-Hasan ibn ‘Ubayd Allah al-Bazzaz recited this to me about one of them: Those Who Cast Aspersions on Party-Crashing 31 He thinks of party-crashing as religion, his only love’s to overtake a feast, and when his hand has seized upon a smidgen, he halves the loot between his hand and teeth. 61 Abu al-Fatah Mansur ibn Rabi‘a ibn Ahmad alZuhri , the preacher in al-Dinawar, told us, Adam alTawil related to me: A man came into my tavern for something to eat, and a beggar came in behind him. “You come here so often!” I said to the beggar. “Maybe,” said the stranger in the tavern, “he is like the one that the poet described: If pots were cooking underneath the ground, or in a distant palace dungeon found, and you in China, still you’d find the spot, O knower of all hidden things (in pots!).” 64 Muhammad ibn ‘Ali ibn al-Hasan al-Jallab recited this poem to me about a party-crasher: More prone to pop in than a fly is, to prey on the food and the drink. The Art of Party-Crashing 32 If he saw a loaf in the skies, he’d soar with the birds in a blink! 67 I read this, written by our friend Muhammad ibn Muhammad ibn Zayd al-‘Alawi for a litterateur: He’s fond of anyone who throws a party; he’s always at a party in his dreams, for party-crashing’s blazoned on his heart, a prisoner to the path of fine cuisine. 69 Also ‘Ali ibn Abu ‘Ali recited this to me on the authority of his father, regarding another one of them: More pushy than nightfall, and faster . . . if he’s in the house, he’s the master! 70 Al-Husayn ibn Muhammad al-Khali‘ informed us, Abu al-Faraj ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn al-Isbahani told us, al-Mutayri told us, ‘Abd Allah ibn Abu Sa‘d Those Who Cast Aspersions on Party-Crashing 33 told us, Yahya ibn Khalifa al-Darimi related to us, Muhammad ibn Salama related to us, saying: A daughter of Musawir the bookseller died on a hot day, and his neighbors didn’t come to his assistance. All except kindred avoided him until the weather cooled off. At last she was borne away. A crowd of his neighbors had followed, so the bookseller turned around and said, You didn’t help me in my time of need, and every party-crasher was abed, so quick to come, if coming just to feed, so slow to show for carrying the dead! 71 Muhammad ibn al-Hasan ibn ‘Ubayd Allah alBazzaz recited this to ‘Ali ibn al-‘Abbas ibn Jurayj al-Rumi concerning the eating habits of partycrashers : He fights with friends unless a table joins them, and then he’s like a serpent at the ball. He’ll crush rocks with his teeth and never ruin them, and on his own he’ll outconsume them all, The Art of Party-Crashing 34 for should the all-consuming Hell employ him, it too would bow before his mighty jaw. 73 Muhammad ibn ‘Ali ibn ‘Ubayd Allah al-Karkhi recited one of their poems to me: Whether the rest came early or came late, he comes right when the cook’s about to serve. The other guests are chastened by his tongue so sharp the host himself has lost his nerve! 74 Abu ‘Abd Allah al-Husayn ibn Muhammad ibn alQasim al-‘Alawi recited to me from one of the poems of Jahza satirizing a singer: You’ve gone beyond in party-crashing, further than we’ve seen done: you eat what you oughtn’t and then take home your sugar mama some! 75 Abu Bakr ‘Abd Allah ibn ‘Ali ibn Hamawayh...