Canceled Memories: A Novel

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87 9 Ten days later, Dina got better and went back to school. “Do I pick you up on Friday so you can come sleep over?” Huda couldn’t hide the excitement and hope in her voice. She could hear her heartbeats as she waited for her daughter’s answer on the phone. Could their conversation on the first day Dina was sick have put her daughter off even more? She had visited her every day since, as soon as she was done with her lectures. Every day, Umm Sharif had received her with a long face and accusing eyes. Sometimes she complained. “Her coughs kept me and her father up all night.” Huda knew her complaint wasn’t really a complaint as much as it was blame for Huda’s leaving her son. Another time she said, “Dina’s difficult. She won’t take anything that’ll help her get better.” “‘Cause I’m happy at home!” Dina had said, laughing. “You must have spoiled her when she was little,” Sharif said. She was always the one to blame for every mistake. “She’s always on the phone. As soon as her friends are back from school, the phone doesn’t stop ringing.” Do you want her cut off from her world? Huda thought to herself. For her friends to forget her? “Would you like me to take her to my place?” Huda said. “It’s my duty to take care of her.” “So you can leave her by herself when you’re at school?” Of course, she was the selfish mother who neglected her daughter for the sake of her career! She saw the accusation in his eyes and heard it in his voice. 88      N a z i k S a b a Y a r e d That day, too, Dina had been sick when Sharif had come to pick her up. But that had been Dina the seven-year-old —not Dina the sixteenyear -old. “Are you going to leave her at home and go to the university?” Sharif had asked then. I saw the accusation in his eyes and heard it in his disapproving voice. It upset me that he actually thought I would do anything like that, so I decided to mock him. “Dina’s a big girl now, and she understands. She’ll stay in bed and behave until I get back.” “That’s impossible! I’m taking her. Mom’s at home—” “You told Grandma I’m sick?” Dina’s voice interrupted him as she yelled to me from her room. “So she’s coming tomorrow?” I didn’t look at Sharif. I walked ahead of him to Dina’s room. “Dad’s here, Dina.” As soon as Sharif kissed her, she said, “Every time I get sick, Grandma comes over and tells me stories. That’s why I like getting sick.” Sharif looked at me. I looked away. Even though he didn’t say anything, I could imagine how angry and resentful he was. In her memory, all these images flashed by as Huda waited on the phone for Dina’s answer. She knew Dina preferred not to come, that Dina wouldn’t make the effort she wanted her to, preferring to spend the weekend with her friends, chatting, window-shopping, and listening to her modern music. “Okay, Mom,” she said. “I’ll be waiting for you, as usual.” Huda’s anxiety disappeared. In front of the gate at school, Dina was lost in conversation with a boy who looked three or four years older. He had his arm around her. A few meters away Huda froze. No wonder Dina preferred not to spend the weekends with her. Was Rania’s story repeating itself with her daughter this time? That mother’s despair over her pregnant daughter cut through the years. Did Sharif know who his daughter was hanging out with, whom she was with every time she went out, what she was really doing when she said she was at a friend’s or at the movies? The fears raced, speeding around each other in her C a n c e l e d M e m o r i e s       89 head. In the past, he had accused her of neglecting Dina, the child. Was he fully aware now of his responsibility toward Dina, the teenager? Should she confront Dina or talk to Sharif? She...