My Bird

41

107 41 Mahin squeezes Shadi and makes her scream. Then she gets up and plays dodge ball with the kids. Shahla laughs, “Big kid!” Maman watches Mahin and her eyes fill with tears. These days Mahin sings. She shops and speaks English. She writes letters. Makes a list of things she wants to take with her, and now she has turned to the kids. “What do the little ones want their aunt to send them from abroad?” Shahin says, “A gun.” Shadi says, “I want a gun too.” Shahin quickly says, “Monkey see, monkey do. Are you a monkey?” Mahin teases Shahla. “Come on, tell me: shampoo, soap, lotion, toothpaste, perfume, and . . .” “There is no need. I buy them here. The Iranian ones are better.” Mahin says, “You don’t like to spend money, Miss Stingy.” Maman says, “Thank God, she does have money.” Shahla laughs, “I am saving for a rainy day.” Mahin wrinkles her nose. “What’s a rainy day anyway?” 108 | Fariba Vafi “It’s a cloudy and sad day. Somebody might die on a day like that.” Maman whispers, “Dear, I have money for my own funeral.” Mahin raises her voice, “If somebody dies on such a day, it won’t be a rainy day. It will be a day of mourning. Can you tell me what use you have for money on a mourning day?” “There might be a day when only money can prevent a disaster. There must be a day that I can let go of my savings after all, because there won’t be a tomorrow to worry about.” Shahin has changed his mind. “I don’t want a gun. I want a sailboat.” Mahin brings her eyebrows together the way she usually does and makes her mouth look small and beautiful. “What about you, pretty girl?” Shadi looks at Shahin. Shahin is giggling. He knows that Shadi doesn’t know what a sailboat is. Shadi takes her finger out of her mouth and laughs, “A balloon.” Everybody laughs. Mahin looks at me. I say, “I don’t need anything.” “You’re taking it too seriously. Say something.” Shahin is hanging from my neck, “Say something, Maman.” I look down. I think about what I want. I don’t know. I want to say something. I want to laugh. I hold my head up, “Letters.” I bite my lips. I know my nose has turned red. Mahin comes closer. She hugs Shahin and me together and starts sobbing. ...