Blacks at Harvard: A Documentary History of African-American Experience At Harvard and Radcliffe

JUDITH JACKSON

JUDITH JACKSO N Judith Barbar a Jackso n wa s bor n i n Chicag o o n 3 Novembe r 1965 , and prepared fo r college at the University of Chicago Laboratory Schools. A t Harvard she won several scholarships, participated i n black organizations, served for tw o years as a freshman prefect , and held posts on the business board of the Harvard Crimson. I n 1987 she received her A.B. in Literature magna cum laude. Followin g graduatio n sh e bega n wor k a s a financia l analyst for Morgan Stanley & Co. in Chicago before embarking on graduate work in English at Princeton University. Trying to Brea k Ou t o f th e Isolatio n I cam e t o Harvar d thinkin g I coul d becom e a s muc h a par t o f thi s environment a s anyone else. I envisioned mysel f maturing intellectu ally , personall y an d sociall y i n Cambridge . I ha d attende d whit e schools—public, private and parochial—all my life and had excelled. I worked hard and was admitted here. Why , I thought, should Harvar d be s o muc h differen t fro m m y previou s educationa l experiences ? After fou r years, I realize the biggest joke I ever played on myself was thinking that I could in fact become as comfortable i n this place as an Eliot or a Cabot o r a n Agassiz . I arrive d her e freshma n yea r with som e very unrealistic expecta tions . I thought , o r a t leas t I ha d bee n told , tha t colleg e woul d b e filled with compassionate roommates and friends, an active social and extracurricular life and enlightened intellectual pursuits. M y first sla p in the face came from m y two white roommates (bot h from suburban , middle-class families). The y obviously felt uncomfortable with me and Judith Jackson in 1987 Judith Jackson 481 the fact that we were now equals, peers even, since Harvard Admissions had given us all their stamp of approval. I think it was the first time they had encountered someone blac k who was from a similar family background and was smart enough to get in here. W e all went our separate ways when May rolled around. My next blow occurred when I stepped int o the offices o f th e Harvard Crimson. I worked on both the newspaper and yearbook in high school. I felt prepared. Nothin g could have been further from the truth. I had never met so many uptight people until I decided to "comp" business. M y peers o n th e new s an d editorial staff s wer e amazed tha t I knew what th e New Republic wa s and that the New York Times did indeed come all the way to Chicago. I interacted with "Crimeds" who had problems dealing with me since it is possible that the only other black woman they had previously encountered was a maid. I began to doubt myself for wanting to join a staff where there were so few blacks or women or anyone who acted reasonable. M y love-hate relationshi p with the pape r continues. Th e work can be exhilarating, though the people usually are not. I wish in many ways that I had been able to recruit more minorities here, but maybe my inability (or unwillingness) speaks for itself. Wh y did I need to bring people of color here for them to be listened to only when an editorial needed a "minority" perspective? My third slap in the face came when I sought out members of my own racial community. I naively thought that the blacks I had been unimpressed by in high school would be miraculously transformed into together, committe d people i n college. Needles s t o say, the Black Students Association meetings freshman year were long, boring, repetitive and poorly attended. I stopped going when the supposedly wise upperclassmen officers starting asking us what they were supposed to be doing. Ho w was I to know when I had just arrived? I turned to the better-organized Association of Black Radcliffe Wome n instead and later became a steering committee member. Looking back, I...