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240  forty-six Bind These Words Parashat Ekev (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25) Ari Lev Fornari Therefore impress these My words upon your very heart: bind them as a sign on your hand and let them serve as a symbol on your forehead. —Deuteronomy 11:18 Chest Binder: an undergarment worn by female-to-male (FTM),1 transgender,2 genderqueer ,3 and gender-variant4 people, and by anyone else who chooses to flatten the appearance of their chest. Tallit Katan: An undergarment traditionally worn daily by observant Jewish men that has knotted fringes tied to its four corners as a reminder of the 613 mitzvot. There are four knotted strings that hang from the corners of my chest binder. “Speak unto the children of Israel, and bid them that they make them throughout their generations fringes in the corners of their garments” (Num. 15:38). Standing in front of the full-length mirror in my room, I unfold the tallit-katan-as-chest-binder and inspect the tzitzit to make sure they are properly knotted. “B’shem mitzvat tzitzit u’mitzvat hityatzrut. For the sake of the mitzvah of ritual fringes and the mitzvah of self-formation.”5 I say this bracha quietly to myself, as I bind these words, as I tighten the Velcro fabric that presses my chest flat. I pull the fabric tight, knowing it will leave marks on my flesh. Micah Bazant explains in his Trans Jew Zine TimTum, “Alterations of the flesh engage the spirit. Fasting, cleansing/immersion (as in the mikvah), and binding (as with tefillin) are familiar Jewish physical vehicles for intense psychological shifts into a mental state that could be designated sacred.”6 The thick, sweaty fabric is uncomfortable, making it difficult to breathe and making my sternum ache. I struggle to find God beneath layers of dark clothing and the self-conscious slouch of my shoulders. I struggle to find God in choices that cause physical pain to my body. How can I make my gender sacred? How can I make my gender a sign of my covenant with God? Parashat Ekev 241 Parashat Ekev foregrounds the concept of brit, a covenant between God and Israel. This covenantal relationship is binding together a community through mitzvot. The brit is made tangible through the actions of the V’ahavta, the paragraph of the Shema7 that commands Jews to lay tefillin as an ot, a sign, of the covenant between God and Israel (Deut. 11:18). However, rereading the concept of brit and the words of the V’ahavta through trans experience obligates us to transform the mitzvot. Instructions: There are sixteen strands in a pack—four long ones and twelve short ones. Separate these into four groups with one long one and three short ones in each. The longer one is called the shammash and is the one used for the winding. It is not easy to learn Jewish rituals traditionally reserved for nontrans men. Patriarchy isolates people who do not benefit from Jewish gender privilege—namely, women, trans people, and gender-variant folks who do not have access to teachers who can transmit the how-tos of halakhic observance. In addition, most histories of how gender-variant people have maneuvered and moved through the world have been erased. Since we do not have records of how our gender-variant ancestors reclaimed Jewish ritual, we are forced to invent it for ourselves all over again. In the Jewish world tallit and tefillin are still privileged as markers of masculinity and Jewish authenticity. In light of this fact, it is necessary to appropriate symbols of Jewish masculinity so that women and gender-variant people can feel whole and seen in Jewish tradition. In Life on the Fringes, Haviva Ner-David, one of the first Orthodox women ordained as a rabbi,8 asks, “What does it mean to be a Jew and at the same time wonder if I am a full member of the covenant?”9 Her response is, “I strive to find beauty in the mitzvot, even when it means assigning new meanings to them.”10 She speaks directly to this history of feminist appropriation as a way to navigate Jewish patriarchy in asking, “Why choose to make this mitzvah my own? Why not create a new ritual , a female reinterpretation of this commandment?”11 Ultimately, Rabbi Ner-David and I choose to make the existing mitzvot our own; it is powerful to weave tradition in with our many identities—literally to...

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