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5 ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ “I’ve Never Seen Any Dark-Skinned Girls in Videos” Nicole’s Story Everyone says that race don’t matter no more but then they all ask us like what it means to be Black, and if it don’t matter then why does everyone want to know? —Nicole Nicole is a 15-year-old Black female who has been coming to the club for eleven years. She has a dark complexion, curvaceous frame, and long legs that place her a head above her peers. Her smile is wide and bright, her eyes sparkling. Nicole is attractive with a serious side she is not afraid to display. She is engaging and energetic, frequently greets me with a hug, yet can be moody. She says her, “feelings change in the midst of a second.” While often talkative and friendly, Nicole withdraws at times. She has a strong presence and is not afraid to speak her mind. Nicole lives with her mom and a number of siblings in the housing project near the club. She is the oldest child living at home and has a clear “older sister” air about her, which she demonstrates around younger kids at the club. Nicole’s favorite places to be are in the front room of her house and her bedroom “because it is so comfortable.” She likes to play sports 108 ❙ “I’ve Never Seen Any Dark-Skinned Girls in Videos” and go shopping, although she says that she doesn’t really have the money to go shopping. Nicole usually keeps her hair short, often worn straightened or in braids. During her first year in high school, she experimented with elaborate longer styles and dyes. Nicole is stylish and wears brightly colored clothes and jewelry that compliment her figure. She is also athletic and puts on t-shirts and shorts for her team practices. Nicole reveals the ways in which race can be both an issue, shaping experiences , and a non-issue, downplayed in one’s overall sense of self. Her narrative turns attention to the intersection of race and gender, as well as the role of gender stereotyping in constricting identity choices. Yet Nicole also demonstrates how personal agency can challenge such stereotypes. She shows us how a youth organization, and the relationships developed within it, can serve as a supportive environment for teens attempting to find a niche in the adult world. Nicole’s Role at East Side Nicole worked at the club during my final year at East Side. Throughout the earlier years, she was involved in many groups there, including Cheryl ’s girls’ groups and the girls’ sports teams. She often took leadership roles within these activities. Nicole participated in a number of pilot interviews and activities with me over the years. Although the level of her participation at East Side varied, especially after Cheryl’s departure, she always returned to the club, especially to work or play sports. Nicole helps out staff in a variety of ways, such as making bulletin boards, staffing the front desk, and assisting with administrative paperwork. She is a good student and attends one of the best public schools in the city. Nicole is extremely introspective, both about herself and the social world. She is very aware of her problematic relationship to gender norms and is articulate on that subject. She sees discrepancies in many areas of the gender system, and she seemed to enjoy discussing her observations with me. Nicole became the seventeenth youth in my study in the spring of my final year at East Side. She asked me if I was still planning on interviewing kids and, if so, could she be part of the project. Although I did not need more participants, I decided to include Nicole because of her enthusiasm and active presence over the years. “I’ve Never Seen Any Dark-Skinned Girls in Videos” ❙ 109 Nicole’s Sense of Self Nicole describes herself as “smart, nice, outgoing, shy.” Her definition of outgoing is “if there’s something that’s gonna help me I’ll try it. I’m not afraid to try new things.” In her choice of such descriptors as “smart” and “nice,” she splits her self-definition between individuated and connected words.1 In an interview a year earlier, Nicole had described herself as “athletic , tall, talented, dark, goofy.” Over the course of a year, in line with cognitive changes associated with adolescence, Nicole began to describe herself with more personality characteristics (nice, outgoing) than...

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