Cannibal

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133 • IJ u II e are not goin g to the blue people, say s the man wit h the metal . Th e las t tim e w e came , the y sho t a t u s an d I know fro m toda y the y hav e ne w weapon s an d ammo . Maybe we'll come back after th e rains. The ma n wh o think s h e i s just lik e us make s hi s smile . He ha s no t bee n a t th e cam p sinc e th e nigh t w e cam e i n the rain. It is his report of new weapons . I lie a t th e bac k o f th e place , drainin g int o th e ground . Who sho t a t who?—I s th e colo r blu e new?—I s tha t th e weapon?—Is what I don't say . They do not know I know. My being gone is answered by what happened , i s happenin g now , int o th e ground . Th e man wh o i s wit h m e i s no t holdin g m y hand , i f h e woul d hold it, because his is cuffed. H e is cuffed fo r saying Nigger last nigh t an d almos t fighting . I don't kno w wha t about . I have neve r see n me n figh t excep t fo r pla y o n th e streets . This migh t b e pla y unles s th e ma n wit h th e meta l jus t wants me to stay with this man and not go on with them . The man with the metal pops the buttons on our cassett e player i n stacatto , impatien t wit h hi m i n hi s cuff s an d me, an d th e journey the y mad e an d th e on e that the y face . The truc k i n fron t o f u s i s almos t full . Th e me n wit h their weapon s shif t the m lik e the y ar e extr a no w an d no t part o f thei r arm s o r legs , an d a fe w droop . In disappoint ment ? He is not sayin g yet whethe r w e ar e returning with hi m or not. Th e ma n wit h th e smil e i s unspooling al l th e film into th e su n an d lookin g a t it . Unspoolin g i t lik e tha t makes i t al l black whethe r o r not i t has a picture o n it. H e peers at it as if there are things to see which is what I wish, even i f no w th e su n take s the m back . Ca n afte r ca n com e unsealed and cool air from wher e they are sealed must rus h out, though I'm to o far away to feel it. The man in the cuff s looks as if he has never looked to put people together in th e box that th e camera makes, but he does look away. Fury at the waste? O r his cover uncovered ? Soon ther e ar e jus t tails , n o mor e film lef t i n an y can , just a paper that say s anything can be shot, with signature s • 13 4 on it . Thi s pape r th e ma n turn s upsidedow n an d doe s no t read becaus e upsidedown , wh o ca n rea d it?—bu t h e look s at i t upsidedow n wit h hi s lip s presse d tigh t an d the n h e places i t ver y carefull y i n th e han d o f th e ma n wit h th e metal. The moto r goe s o n i n th e vehicl e w e cam e i n while th e man wit h th e meta...