Cannibal

8

8 c Uo i f I hav e a proble m wit h trus t whe n w e begi n t o walk, I have jus t mor e o f a proble m now . An d on e mor e thing: I a m makin g thes e song s int o m y languag e fo r money, an d som e o f th e mone y I have give n hi m t o bu y film. Som e i s mor e lik e a lot . Tha t i s wh y h e call s m e Producer. Al l alon g whe n w e se t u p th e camera , I expec t the lights , camera , action , a t leas t th e re d ligh t insid e th e • 76 camera tha t say s it i s going, takin g th e looking . He shoul d make th e camera go on even if he has this job, to make m e think h e doe s not. But then th e actio n happens, with al l of its like-lif e things , an d sometime s i t eve n unfold s i n fron t of th e camera , lik e babie s dyin g from burn s the y ge t fro m rolling into fires at night, cold nights, and he does not mak e the light go on. Maybe the baby will die again, I say. That isn' t the subject, h e says. But what subjec t i s there? I ask but no t ver y loudly. It is a mistake t o ask a s if some one might want th e answer, especially if he doesn't want t o give it, he wants to talk about it . It would b e easier if he just didn' t look , i f he just turne d on th e re d light , la y th e bo x wit h th e re d ligh t o n it s sid e and le t i t run , I say. I t woul d d o awa y wit h perspective , I say. It would make it more objective an d scientific. No on e could accuse you of point-of-view . I have to put the camera somewhere, don't I? That mean s I'm pointing . It' s no t right , h e says . I t show s m e of f an d not them . Oh, boy, I say. How did you do this before ? I was the eye before, the first time. I was their eye. Maybe it will happen again . My respect does not leak away with the pronouns. I must say I like hi s wa y o f no t looking . I t ha s a n argument . Bu t how lon g doe s it tak e no t t o look ? An d sometime s d o yo u never look? Now, i f he can find th e ones who paint themselve s blue , he says, that will make him film . That i s wh y w e ar e walkin g again . Wh y I a m walkin g with him . With lov e too but with a kiss that i s too hard t o 77 m reach s o often . W e ar e walkin g fo r blu e peopl e wh o hav e skin tha t th e fil m need s fo r it s startin g an d song s I shoul d not miss. When, of course, the machine has all its parts an d a way of going together . Sometimes it is fixed. Sometimes when whoever is walking i n fron t o f u s walk s of f t o se e i f ther e ar e peopl e wh o are no t hi s cousin s an d migh t kil l u s campe d nearby , h e finds a way t o fi x it . I think h e ha s a part h e put s in . Th e cassette which i s not yet turned into an egg he puts in afte r he put s i n th e par t tha t ha s ou...