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C H A P T E R 1 "THE CENTRA L PROBLE M O F FEMALE EXPERIENCE" : INTRODUCTION F OR man y lat e twentieth-century feminis t writers , th e mother daughter relationshi p ha s symbolized no t a source o f suppor t and comfort , bu t a moras s o f bitternes s an d resentment . A s Nikki Stiller has observed, during the late 1960 s and throughout th e following decad e "i t was rathe r ba d for m fo r a woma n t o mentio n her mother favorabl y in public. Alienation an d hostilit y were held t o be th e hallmark s o f adulthoo d amon g man y wh o considere d them selves psychologically, emotionally , an d sexuall y liberated." 1 Indeed , contemporary feminis t discussion s o f th e mother-daughte r relation ship hav e ofte n stresse d th e negativ e aspect s o f th e bon d betwee n mothers and thei r femal e offspring , emphasizin g it s stifling intensit y and th e concomitan t implication s fo r th e limitatio n o f individua l development, whil e a t the sam e tim e affirmin g it s centrality fo r th e lives of al l women.2 Muc h of th e flavor of th e recen t impressionisti c literature o n mother s an d daughter s i s capture d i n a statemen t b y the autho r o f a stud y tha t examine s th e significanc e o f mother daughter tie s in the life and work of Virginia Woolf: "I consider th e mother-daughter relationshi p th e central proble m o f femal e experi ence . . . . fundamentally, i t is a locus of tensio n rathe r tha n th e pas toral have n suggeste d b y cultura l myth s o f motherhood." 3 Bu t th e contemporary discours e also includes some significan t theoretica l wor k that argue s fo r a rathe r differen t an d mor e positiv e representatio n of the impact of mother-daughter interaction s on the lives of both. To a large extent, the current commentary emphasizes the daughter 's point o f view , attributin g th e difficult problem s tha t plagu e th e 1 2 "TH E CENTRA L PROBLE M O F FEMAL E EXPERIENCE " relationship t o destructiv e materna l behavior . Thi s tendenc y t o blam e the mothe r fo r famil y problem s i s no t ne w i n th e las t thir d o f th e twentieth century . Rather , i t represent s th e continuatio n o f a tren d that emerge d wit h th e developmen t o f th e nineteenth-centur y em phasis o n th e importanc e o f mora l motherhood. 4 Thu s i t wa s fore shadowed i n nineteenth-centur y discussion s o f child-rearing , i n th e prescriptive literatur e tha t appeared aroun d th e turn of the century, and i n later discussions tha t have hel d mothers solely responsible fo r the maintenance of family harmon y and for the physical and psychological well-bein g of thei r offspring.5 Bu t contemporary feminis t discussions diffe r fro m thei r precursor s i n thei r explicit articulatio n o f the significanc e o f th e conflic t betwee n individualit y an d connectio n in th e mother-daughte r relationship , an d i n thei r suggestio n tha t mother-daughter problem s deriv e fro m th e societa l devaluatio n o f women. Nancy Friday' s popula r book , My Mother, My Self, illustrates th e tendency t o blam e th e mothe r a t it s mos t extreme. 6 Frida y argue s that mothers imped e daughters ' development a t every stage, inhibiting their individuation and denying their sexuality as their own mothers did t o them . Mother-daughte r interaction s ar e inherentl y negativ e because ther e i s a n inevitabl e conflic t betwee n a mother...

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