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73 73 Chapter 3 Various Amusing Anecdotes From childhood, the Fāriyāq had felt an instinctive disposition to read and assiduously study the classical language, picking out the rare words that he came across in books, of which his father had amassed a large number in a variety of disciplines. He, that is, the Fāriyāq, was also, from his youth, wild about poetry, even before he had learned anything about the requirements of that craft; thus sometimes he would hit the mark and other times miss it. He also believed poets were the best people and poetry the most magnificent thing with which a man could occupy himself. Then one day he read in some chronicle of a poet who in his youth had been stupid and artless but had grown up to excel and to shine at composing lengthy odes. The story is told of him that one day he got drunk and sat down beside a monk’s cell(1)130 from whence he set about delivering the sermon of Abū l-ʿIbar Ṭarad Ṭabak Ṭalandī Bak Nak Yak131 from the drain.132 Also that one day, he wanted to scale a wall so that he could reach some dates, and he fell into an animal trap set by the owner of the orchard.133 And that one day he told his mother that such and such a woman had an excellent maid who had “washed the door of her house today till it was shining black.” And that one day he caught sight of 1.3.1 1.3.2 (1) Metropolitan Jirmānūs Farḥāt is misguided in his statement in his Bāb al-Iʿrāb (Gateway to Grammar) that “taʾmūr means ‘container’ and ‘soul’ and ‘heart’ and ‘the monk’s cell’ and ‘the monastic rule’ (qānūn al-rāhib).” The wording of the original [from which Farḥāt took this, sc. the Qāmūs] is “and the monk’s cell and his hide (ṣawmʿat al-rāhib wa-nāmūsuhu)” andFarḥātwasdeludedenoughtoimaginethatnāmūs here means “rule” or “path” as is the common usage among Christians. In fact, the author of the Qāmūs intends the original meaning, which is “[a hunter’s] hide.” The common people say nāwūs [when they mean nāmūs], and this widespread sense in which they use the word is either a figurative extension of the meaning “one who holds a secret” [a further meaning listed in the Qāmūs] or an Arabization of the Greek [naos (“temple”)]. 74 74  ��� ������ ��� � �������� � ���� � �� � � ‫ى‬ � ‫�ف‬ � � ‫ى‬ � ‫ل‬�� ‫ت‬ � ‫ب‬ � ‫ن‬ ��‫ي‬ �� َّ ‫ل‬�‫ع‬� �‫ل‬� � ‫و‬�� * ‫ل‬�‫�ك‬ � ��‫ا‬ � ‫ل‬ � � ‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � ‫�ف‬ � � ‫ع‬ �‫ط‬ � �� �‫ا‬� ‫ق‬ � � � ‫ر‬‫ي‬ �� ‫�غ‬ � ‫ه‬�‫ن‬��‫ا‬� ‫ف‬ � � � ‫ا‬� ‫ض‬ �� �‫ي‬ ��‫ا‬ ‫ا‬�‫ن‬��‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � ‫س‬�� ‫ر‬ ‫ض‬ �� � ‫ع‬ �‫ل‬�� ‫ق‬ � � � ‫ا‬ ‫م‬ �‫ا‬� ّ ‫ج‬ � � ‫ح‬ � ‫ل‬��‫ل‬�� ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬� ‫ق‬ � � �‫و‬�� ‫ا‬�‫م‬�‫ه‬�‫ر‬‫د‬ ‫ة‬ �‫ر‬‫ي‬ �� ‫ث‬ �‫ك‬ � �� ‫ك‬��‫ق‬ ��‫م‬�‫ح‬ � ‫�ن‬‫م‬� ‫ت‬ �‫ا‬�‫ي‬ ��‫ا‬�‫ك‬ � � � ‫ح‬ � ‫ك‬��‫ن‬ �‫ع‬ � ‫ت‬ �‫ن‬��ّ ‫و‬�� ُ ‫د‬ ‫�د‬ ‫ق‬ � � � ‫ا‬�‫م‬�‫و‬�‫ي‬ �� ‫ه‬�‫ل‬� � ‫ل‬�‫ي‬ �� ‫ق‬ � � �‫و‬�� * ‫ه‬�‫ن‬ �‫م‬� ّ ‫د‬��‫ح‬ �‫ا‬ ‫س‬��‫ر‬ ‫ض‬ �� � ‫ه‬�‫ن‬��‫ا‬�‫ك‬ � � �‫م‬� ‫ه‬�‫ت‬ � ‫�ج‬ �‫و‬�� ‫�ز‬‫ل‬� � ‫ه‬‫و‬�‫ب‬ ��‫ا‬ ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � ‫ا‬�‫م‬�‫و‬�‫ي‬ �� ‫ه‬‫و‬� ‫خ‬ � �‫ا‬ ‫�ض‬� �‫ر‬‫م‬�‫و‬�� * ‫ك‬��‫ح‬ � ‫ض‬ ��� � ‫ا‬ � ‫ل‬ � � ّ ‫ى‬ � ‫ل‬��‫ع‬ � ‫ا‬�‫ه‬�‫ا‬‫ر‬ ‫ق‬ ��‫�ي‬� ‫دا‬��‫ح‬ �‫ا‬ ‫ن‬ �‫ا‬‫و‬�‫ل‬� � ّ ‫ى‬ � �‫د‬‫و‬�‫ب‬ �� ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � * ‫ا‬� ً‫ع‬ �‫م‬� ‫ة‬ ��‫م‬�‫د‬‫ا‬�‫خ‬ � � ‫ل‬�� ‫ا‬‫و‬�� ‫ل‬�‫�ك‬ � ��‫ا‬ � ‫ل‬ � � ‫ا‬ ‫ه‬‫ر‬ ‫ض‬ �� �‫ا‬ ‫�د‬ ‫ق‬ � � � ‫م‬ � ‫ع‬ �‫�ن‬� ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � * ‫س‬��‫م‬�‫ا‬ ‫ه‬�‫ل‬��‫ك‬ � �� ‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � �‫�ذ‬��‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫م‬ �‫ا‬�‫ع‬ �‫ط‬ � �� � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ه‬‫ر‬ ‫ض‬ �� �‫ا‬ ‫�د‬ ‫ق‬ � � � ‫ى‬ � ‫ل‬��‫ع‬ � ‫ه‬�‫م‬�‫ا‬ ‫ت‬ �‫ا‬‫ور‬�� * ّ ‫ب‬ �‫ح‬ �‫ي‬ � ‫م‬ � ‫�ل‬ � ‫ا‬�‫م‬� ‫ه‬�‫ت‬ �‫ط‬ �� � ‫ع‬ � ‫ا‬ ‫ا‬�‫ه‬ � ‫ل‬��‫ع‬ �‫ل‬� � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � * ‫ا‬�‫ن‬ �‫�ه‬‫ا‬�‫ه‬� ‫ة‬ ��‫م‬�‫د‬‫ا‬�‫خ‬ � � ‫ل‬�� ‫ا‬ ‫ل‬� ‫خ‬ �� �‫د‬ ‫ا‬�‫م‬� ‫ه‬‫و‬�‫ب‬ ��‫ا‬ ‫�د‬‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � * ‫�ن‬‫��س‬‫ح‬ �‫ا‬‫و‬�‫ه‬�‫و‬�� ‫ى‬ � ‫م‬�‫د‬ ‫ى‬ � � ‫ر‬ ‫�ج‬ � ‫ف‬ � � � ‫ت‬ �‫ع‬ �‫ق‬ � � �‫و‬�� ‫�د‬ ‫ق‬ � � � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬� ‫ق‬ � � � * ‫م‬ �‫د‬��‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ا‬ ‫�ذ‬ �‫�ه‬ ‫ا‬�‫م‬� ‫ه‬�‫ل‬� � ‫ت‬ �‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � ‫ا‬� ً ‫م‬�‫د‬ ‫ه‬�‫ب‬ ��‫ا‬�‫ي‬ �‫�ث‬� ‫�ه��ذه‬ ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬� ‫ق‬ � � �‫و‬�� ‫ا‬�‫ه‬ �‫ب‬ �� ‫ى‬ � ‫م‬� ‫ر‬ ‫ف‬ � � � ‫ي�ن‬ ��‫ك‬ � � �‫��س‬‫ب‬ � ‫�ده‬‫ي‬ �� ‫ح‬ � ‫ر‬ ‫ج‬ � �‫و‬�� * ‫ى‬ � �ّ ‫و‬� ‫�ق‬ �‫�ت‬�‫و‬�� ّ ‫ح‬ � ‫ص‬�� � ‫م‬ �‫د‬ ‫ه‬�‫ن‬ �‫م‬� ‫ى‬ � � ‫ر‬ ‫ج‬ � �‫و‬�� ‫ع‬ �‫ق‬ � � �‫و‬�� ‫�ن‬‫م‬� ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫�ي‬� ‫ل‬�‫�ك‬ � �� ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � * ‫ك‬‫�د‬‫ي‬ �� ‫ت‬ �‫ح‬ �َ ‫ر‬ َ ‫ج‬ � � ‫ا‬�‫م‬ ‫�ل‬ � ‫ك‬��‫ل‬� � ‫�ذ‬ �‫ك‬ � �� ‫ت‬ �‫ن‬��‫ا‬�‫ك‬ � �� ‫و‬�‫ل‬� � ‫ه‬‫و‬�‫ب‬ ��‫ا‬ ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � * ‫ا‬� ً‫�ي‬ ‫ش‬ ��� ‫ى‬ � �‫و‬��‫ا‬�‫س‬�� ‫ت‬ � ‫ا‬ � ‫ل‬ � � ‫ي�ن‬ ��‫ك‬ � � �‫��س‬‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ق‬ � � �‫و‬�‫س‬��‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � ‫�ف‬ � � ‫ت‬ �‫ي‬ ��‫ا‬‫ر‬ ‫�د‬ ‫ق‬ � � � ‫ة‬ �ّ ‫ر‬‫م‬� ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬� ‫ق‬ � � �‫و‬�� * ‫ا‬�‫ه‬�‫ر‬‫ي‬ �� ‫�غ‬ � ‫و‬�� ‫ا‬ 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���‫ا‬�‫ع‬ � ‫ا‬ ‫ذ‬ �‫ا‬ ّ ‫م‬ �‫ا‬‫ا‬�‫ي‬ �� ‫ه‬� ّ ‫م‬� ‫ا‬ � ‫ل‬ � � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � ‫ف‬ ��‫ي‬ �‫ك‬ � �� ‫ل‬�‫ي‬ �� ‫ق‬ � � � * ‫ه‬‫ر‬ ‫ق‬ ��‫م‬� ‫ف‬ � � � ‫ر‬‫ع‬ � ‫ا‬ ‫ا‬�‫ن‬��‫ا‬ ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � ‫ص‬� �‫�خ‬ � ‫ش‬ ���� ‫ل‬� � ‫ن�ز‬��‫م‬� ‫�ن‬‫ع‬ � ‫ن‬ �‫و‬�‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫س‬��‫ي‬ � ‫م‬ �‫و‬� ‫�ق‬ � � ‫ن‬ �‫ا‬�‫ك‬ � �� ‫و‬�� * ‫ى‬ � � ‫ر‬ ‫خ‬ � �‫ا‬ ‫ة‬ �‫ر‬‫م‬� ‫ة‬ ��‫ي‬ �‫�ن‬�‫ا‬�‫م‬� ‫ث‬ �‫ل‬�� ‫ا‬ ‫�ن‬‫م‬� ‫ا‬�‫م‬�‫و‬�‫ي‬ �� ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬� ‫ق‬ � � �‫و‬�� * ‫ه‬�‫ي‬ �‫ل‬��‫ج‬ � �‫ر‬ ‫ى‬ � ‫ل‬��‫ع‬ � ‫ق‬ � � �‫و‬�‫س‬��‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � ‫�ف‬ � � ‫ى‬ � ‫ش‬ ���‫م‬�‫ي‬ � ‫ل‬� ‫ج‬ �� �‫ر‬‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ت‬ �‫ي‬ ��‫ا‬‫ر‬ ‫�د‬ ‫ق‬ � � � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬� ‫ق‬ � � � * ‫ه‬�‫ت‬ � ‫ف‬ � � � ‫ر‬‫ع‬ � ‫ر‬ ‫ث‬ ��‫ك‬ � �� ‫ا‬ ‫م‬ � ‫ح‬ � ‫ل‬��‫ل‬�� ‫ا‬ ‫ب‬ �‫ح‬ � ‫ت‬ � ‫ا‬ ‫ه‬�‫ل‬� � ‫ل‬�‫ي‬ �� ‫ق‬ � � �‫و‬�� * ‫ة‬ ��‫ع‬ � ‫ب‬ �‫��س‬‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � ‫ل‬�� ‫ا‬ ‫ة‬ ��‫س�ت‬��‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫�ن‬‫م‬� ‫ع‬ ‫ر‬‫��س‬‫ا‬ ‫ت‬ � ‫�ق‬ � �‫و‬�‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � ‫ض‬ �� � ‫�م‬‫ي‬ � ‫ة‬ ��‫ع‬ �‫��س‬ ‫ت‬ ��‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � ‫ل‬�� ‫ا‬ ‫�ن‬‫��س‬‫ح‬ � ‫ت‬ � ‫ف‬ �� � � ‫ا‬ ‫ا‬�‫ن‬ �‫ع‬ � ‫ب‬ �‫ي‬ �‫غ‬ � �‫�ت‬� ‫ت‬ � ‫ن‬ �‫ك‬ � ��‫ا‬ ‫ذ‬ �‫ا‬ ‫ه‬‫و‬�‫ب‬ ��‫ا‬ ‫ه‬�‫ل‬� � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬� ‫ق‬ � � �‫و‬�� * ‫ر‬ ‫ث‬ ��‫ك‬ � �� ‫ا‬ ‫ا‬ ‫�ذ‬ �‫�ه‬ ّ ‫ب‬ �‫ح‬ �‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � ‫�ن‬� ‫ا‬ ‫ظ�ن‬ � �� �‫ا‬ ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬� ‫ق‬ � � � ‫ك‬��‫م‬�‫س‬��‫ل‬�� ‫ا‬ ‫م‬ �‫ا‬ ّ‫خ�ز‬ � � ‫ى‬ � ‫ل‬��‫ع‬ � ‫ى‬ � ‫ن‬� ‫ث‬ ��‫ي‬ �� ‫ه‬‫ا‬�‫ب‬ ��‫ا‬ ‫ع‬ �‫م‬ �‫س‬��‫و‬�� * ‫م‬ �‫ك‬ � � �‫ي‬ �‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ه‬�‫ل‬��‫ص‬� �‫و‬�� ‫ا‬ ‫ه‬�‫ب‬ �� ‫ى‬ �‫�ج‬ �‫ا‬‫و‬�� ‫ه‬�‫ب‬ �‫�ت‬‫ك‬ � �� ‫ا‬ ‫م‬ � ‫ع‬ �‫�ن‬� ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬� ‫ق‬ � � � * ‫ا‬�‫ب‬ ��‫ا‬� ‫ت‬ �‫ك‬ � ���‫ا‬�‫ن‬ �‫ل‬� � ‫ب‬ � ‫ت‬ �‫ك‬ � � �‫�ت‬ ‫ن‬ �‫ا‬ ‫ه‬‫ا‬�‫ب‬ ��‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � � ‫ا‬‫ور‬�� * ‫ه‬‫و‬��‫ر‬ ‫ت‬ ��‫ش‬ ��� ‫ت‬ � ‫م‬ � ‫�ل‬ � ‫م‬ �‫ك‬ � � �‫�ن‬‫ا‬ ‫ة‬ �‫�د‬‫ي‬ �‫ع‬ �‫�س‬� ‫ة‬ ��‫ع‬ � ‫ا‬�‫س‬�� ‫ت‬ �‫ن‬��‫ا‬�‫ك‬ � ��‫�د‬ ‫ق‬ � � � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � * ‫ا‬�‫ح‬ �‫ر‬ ‫ف‬ � � � ‫ه‬�‫ب‬ �� ‫ن‬ �‫ا‬�‫ك‬ � �� ‫و‬�� ‫ه‬‫ا‬‫ر‬ ‫ت‬ ��‫ش‬ ���‫ا‬ ‫ا‬�‫ن‬��‫ا‬‫و‬�� ‫ا‬ � ‫ل‬ � � ‫ف‬ ��‫ي‬ �‫ك‬ � ��‫ه‬�‫ل‬� � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � * ‫ه‬�‫ب‬ �‫ت‬�‫ك‬ � � �‫�ت‬ ‫ا‬�‫م‬� ‫ا‬‫ر‬ ‫ق‬ ��‫�ت‬� ‫ن‬ �‫ا‬ ‫ت‬ �‫ب‬��‫ا‬‫ا‬�‫ي‬ �� ‫ع‬ �‫ي‬ �‫ط‬ �� �‫ت‬ �‫�س‬� ‫ت‬ � ‫ل‬�‫ه‬�� ‫ه‬�‫ل‬� � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � ‫ا‬�‫ب‬ ��‫ا‬� ‫ت‬ �‫ك‬ � ��� ‫ب‬ � ‫ت‬ �‫ك‬ � � �‫�ي‬ * ‫�ده‬‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � ‫ر‬‫ي‬ ��‫ط‬ �� � ‫ى‬ � ‫ل‬��‫ع‬ � ‫ف‬ �� ّ ‫�س‬�‫ا‬�‫ت‬ �‫�ي‬� ‫ه‬‫ا‬�‫ب‬ ��‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � � ‫ا‬‫ور‬�� * ‫ع‬ �‫ي‬ �‫ط‬ �� �‫ت‬ �‫�س‬�‫ا‬ ‫ا‬� ‫ل‬� ‫ف‬ � � � ‫ا‬�‫ن‬��‫ا‬ ‫ا‬�‫م‬�‫ا‬ ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬� ‫ق‬ � � � * ‫ه‬�‫ت‬ � ‫ب‬ �� ‫ت‬ �‫ك‬ � �� ‫ى‬ � �‫�ذ‬��‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫�ده‬‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � ‫ى‬ � ‫ل‬��‫ع‬ � ‫ف‬ ��‫س‬��‫ا‬�‫ت‬ �‫�ن‬� ‫ا‬� ّ‫ن‬��‫ا‬ ‫ق‬ � � ‫م‬�‫ح‬ �‫ا‬ ‫ا‬�‫ي‬ �� ‫ه‬�‫ل‬� � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � * ‫ا‬�‫ه‬ �‫ي‬ � ‫ف‬ � � � ‫ر‬ ‫ا‬�‫ط‬ �� � ‫ى‬ � ‫ت‬ �‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ة‬ ��‫ع‬ � ‫ا‬�‫س‬��‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬ ‫ى‬ � ‫�ف‬ � � ‫ه‬‫لل‬‫ا‬ ‫ك‬‫ر‬ ‫ا‬�‫ب‬ �� ‫ه‬�‫ل‬� � ‫ل‬� � ‫ا‬�‫ق‬ ��‫ف‬ � � � 3،3،1 4،3،1 5،3،1 [18.191.88.249] Project MUSE (2024-04-26 04:22 GMT) 75 75 Various Amusing Anecdotes a boy who had had one of his molars removed, so he went and borrowed a dirham and told the cupper, “Take my molar out too because it doesn’t cut my food; maybe another, sharper, molar will grow in its place.” And one day someone said to him, “Many stories have been recorded of your stupidity,” to which he replied, “I wish someone would read them to me so I could have a laugh!” And one day his brother fell ill and his father said to his wife, “The food he ate yesterday was bad for him,” and the poet said, “Yes, the food was bad for him and so was the maid.” “What has the maid got to do with it?” his father asked him, and he said, “Maybe she gave him something he didn’t like.” And his mother noticed blood on his clothes and asked him, “What’s that blood?” and he answered, “I fell over and my blood ran, which is for the good, for it is said, ‘If someone falls over and his blood runs, he gets well and is strengthened.’” And he cut his hand with a knife and threw it away, saying, “This knife is worthless”; his father said to him, “If it really were, it wouldn’t have cut your hand,” to which the man replied, “Everyone in the world cuts his hand, if not with a knife then with something else.” And he said, “Once I saw cheese as white as tar in the market.” And someone said to him, “Why don’t you wash your hands?” He replied, “I do, but they get dirty again straight away; I can’t get them clean because my...

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