Grandmothers at Work: Juggling Families and Jobs

1. Balancing Care and Work

>> 1 1 Balancing Care and Work Legions of working grandmothers across the United States are quietly, almost invisibly, caring for grandchildren so that parents can work or have a break from busy schedules. Deanne is one of 48 working grandmothers I interviewed who is balancing paid work and caring for grandchildren. A 57-year-old, white, married, well-educated, middleclass woman with two daughters, Deanne works full-time as an elected official in a small midwestern town. She also takes care of three of her six grandkids three or four days a week after work and often on weekends . She also checks in on her mother at the nursing home a few times a week. Though she is juggling so many responsibilities, and at times is very tired, she is positively gleeful when she talks about caring for her grandchildren, “Being a grandmother is the best job in the world. Love them, spoil them, and say goodbye.” We tend to think of balancing work and family as something that only relatively young families contend with, yet many middle-aged grandmothers are employed and providing routine child care for their grandchildren. Grandmothers are prized daycare providers because often the quality is very high, the cost is very low, and the flexibility is maximal.1 Grandmothers often have very special bonds with their grandchildren. Many young working families report that they feel that the best possible care providers for their children would be the grandmothers . Many grandmothers may agree.2 One phone survey of adults ages 40 and older found that when grandparents live nearby, more than 2 > 3 week or once a month, while others care for them for several evenings a week and most weekends. Taking care of grandkids is a tremendous source of joy and provides many with a second chance for raising children without as many responsibilities and pressures as the first time around. Deanne, whose eyes fill with happy tears at the mere mention of her grandkids, says being a grandmother is better than being a mother because it is only part-time. You get to say goodbye. As a grandmother, Deanne can postpone housework to play with the grandkids because they do not come to stay every day. When you have your own kids you are busy with all the other things you have to do. But with your grandkids you can just sit. If the dishes get done the next day, who cares? I can take that walk. Caring for grandchildren is fairly intense work. In fact, it appears that just as motherhood has intensified in the United States, becoming very centered on the strategic development or purposeful cultivation of children,9 so has grandmotherhood. For many grandmothers 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 Women Men 75+ 70–74 65–69 60–64 55–59 50–54 45–49 Figure 1.1. Percent in the labor force by gender and age, 2010. Source: US Bureau of Labor Statistics 2011a. 4 > 5 in late, leaves early, takes days off, and minds the grandchildren while at her office. Her daughter has not yet built up any sick leave or vacation time, so Deanne has ramped up the amount of care she provides. She started a new job last spring and doesn’t have much time built up for family time, so Grandma is here. She is an accountant, for less than one year. Once it is April she will have two weeks of vacation, but now she has nothing. Her old job was talking layoffs, and she could not risk being without a job, so now has a new job. . . . I am fortunate being an elected official; I am paid whether I am here or not. . . . But I don’t have a set schedule. I can come and go as I need to. Deanne responds to nearly constant requests from her daughter for help. She nearly had to postpone our interview due to a last-minute request. She occasionally declines the requests, but more often she says yes and then returns to work later to complete her projects. I nearly missed our interview today because I had to babysit. . . . My daughter just cannot risk missing work. . . . I sometimes have to tell my daughter . . . I am too busy at work. And sometimes I will take care of them and come back to work after, if the work really has to get done. Many middle-aged women are also providing a substantial amount of financial support...