A Law of Her Own: The Reasonable Woman as a Measure of Man

Introduction

Introduction This book is intended for people concerned about how the law treats women. Despite the apparent progress in women’s legal status , the law remains profoundly male. We believe the law’s fundamental paradigm must change because superficial changes serve primarily to mask the continuing, pervasive violence and injustice against women. The spectrum of violence and disregard of women is most evident and problematic in the law of sexual harassment, stalking, rape, and domestic homicide—all areas in which acquaintances or intimates usually inflict the injury. Men harass, beat, stalk, rape, and kill women, yet the law still minimizes, or even denies, these injuries. We therefore propose a method by which the law can better redress the injuries women experience. We advocate that courts apply a “reasonable woman” standard to the conduct of men in certain legal settings—where men’s and women’s life experiences and views on sex and aggression diverge and women are overwhelmingly the injured parties. Such a woman-based legal standard would make currently acceptable or excusable conduct unacceptable and inexcusable by focusing on respect for bodily integrity, agency, and autonomy. It would help rectify the imbalance in how society and its legal system view sexual and gender-based harassment, rape, stalking, and domestic imprisonment, violence, and death. This “reasonable woman,” based to the extent possible on the experiences and expectations of most women, would become the standard by which men’s behavior is measured. When women are the aggressors, their conduct would also be held to the reasonable woman standard. Our proposal is radical. The reasonable woman standard is intended to make a difference by affecting both the head and the gut. In certain contexts, this paradigm shift will entirely change the outcome in women’s lives and in legal cases. It is based on the premise that human beings have great ability to learn, empathize, adapt, and to control xvii their own behavior. Men who batter or kill their intimates, who harass, stalk, or rape, can change. The rare women who behave similarly can change also. And they must. We place men into three broad groups with regard to these issues. First are the “good guys”—men who already “get it,” who respect and value the personhood, physical integrity, and safety of women and of other men. Happily, many men are good guys and already behave according to the reasonable woman standard. The second group we call the “redeemables”—men who are willing and able to change their beliefs and behavior once they are induced to reconsider their attitudes toward gender roles. The reasonable woman standard will assist such men in changing both their perceptions and their behaviors. In the third group are the “diehards”—men who will not change their beliefs , who will always blame the target for their own rage and aggression . It is highly unlikely that the reasonable woman standard will affect the diehards’ worldview. However, application of this standard will force them to stop their violence against women, through the threat of either economic, social, or legal consequences or by lengthy incarceration. Sexual harassment, stalking, rape, and domestic violence are choices—voluntary acts. To those men who try to impose their will on women, we want the law to say “Change or else!” We believe that once they understand women’s perspectives and experiences, many men who engage in such conduct—the redeemables—will change of their own accord. Many of those who are unwilling to change their beliefs—the diehards—can still learn to conform their behavior to the law, stemming their violence against and subordination of women. But if they continue to harass, to hit, to stalk, to kill, to rape, the legal consequences must be swift, harsh, and certain. Such men must be made to take responsibility for and recognize the wrongfulness of their own acts. The law must no longer support rationalizations such as “She led me on” or “I beat/killed her because she provoked me.” At present, law is a warrior code that sympathizes with and accommodates violence that derives from sexual jealousy, wounded pride, and the desire to dominate another. For women, the most common forms of such violence involve intimates or former intimates. But, even though women are by far the most common victims of intimate violence, men’s intimate violence injures themselves as well, both interpersonally and physically. A particularly grim example is domestic homicide. In many xviii | Introduction [18.219.22.169] Project MUSE (2024-04-23 14...