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38 Q Q When Carmen and Cassandra’s daughter was born, they decided they wanted to baptize the baby in a Catholic church. They picked Carmen’s sister and brother-­ in-­ law to be the baby’s godparents, and since they did not have a church of their own, they baptized the baby in the new godparents’ church. We all stood in front of the altar: the baby, her two mommies, the godparents, myself, and a variety of other family members, waiting for the priest. Everyone seemed uneasy, unaware of how he would react to this alternative family. Upon entering, the priest asked for the baby’s parents, and both mothers raised their hands. The priest looked befuddled and asked, “Where is the baby’s father?” to which someone nervously replied, “There is no father.” “So then who are you?” the priest asked, pointing at Carmen. “I am the baby’s other mother,” she said. The priest rolled his eyes, sighed, and went on performing the ritual without another word. Later, as I pondered over this scenario, I wondered why Carmen and Cassandra, who are not practicing Catholics, would want to have this ceremony performed on their child. Why would they choose to participate in a religion that does not recognize their family? I soon learned that there are no simple answers for what motivates LBQ Latinas to practice non-­gay-­affirming religions. Their experiences with religion and family are as diverse as their levels of commitment to organized faith. As I delved through months of field notes and interview transcriptions, I found participants at all different points on a journey to reconcile religious teachings with their sexualities. Almost all of the study participants reported being raised Christian. Over 50 percent of these women were raised Catholic. Even those participants who were not currently active in organized religion reported religion playing an important role in their upbringing. Given their religious backgrounds, the participants often described the turmoil they experienced with religion after acknowledging their desires for other women. The c h a p t e r 2 “And Then the Father Set Me Free” religion and sexuality Religion and Sexuality 39 coming-­out process for the study participants and their families of origin evoked a plethora of questions regarding God, Christianity, and their religious commitments . The respondents reported experiencing their coming-­ out journeys and their spiritual journeys as interwoven processes (Shallenberger 1996). Their recollections point to one of the many contradictions with which they struggled daily: accepting themselves as women who love other women even though their religious instructions taught them that same-­ sex desires are wrong. Their stories illustrate the ways in which these women learned to live with the contradictions (O’Brien 2004) of loving God and loving other women. These contradictions influenced how the study participants validated themselves. Their descriptions demonstrate the subtle ways in which these women made sense of their religion’s stance on homosexuality and their family members’interpretations of this religious stance. What evolved is a complex web of emotions that influenced how the study participants felt about religion, their same-­ sex relationships, and the reactions of their families of origin to the tensions between the two. Living with the Contradictions Aracely was very active in her Catholic church in Peru. She sang in the choir and did community service with her church’s food-­ for-­ the-­ poor program. All of this came to an end when Aracely met Ana Julia. When Aracely started a relationship with Ana Julia, she found it difficult to return to church. When I asked why, she replied, “Porque sé que estoy participando en algo que Dios no acepta” (Because I know that I am participating in something that God does not accept). I thought, “How does one have so much respect for God and the Catholic Church while wrestling with the belief that this institution condemns the love you feel for another woman?”One path to reconciling this dilemma is to embrace the idea that it is God’s will for one to be gay, making religious rejection of homosexuality more about man than about a higher being (Thumma 1991). Scott Thumma finds, while researching gay evangelicals, that redefining certain Bible scriptures and challenging traditional evangelical beliefs about homosexuality can help one develop a more affirming gay identity. Sometimes individuals are able to reconcile the tension between religion and their sexuality by embracing the contradiction and interpreting it as a burden placed on them by God so...

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