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Chapter 9. So Much for "Happily Ever After"
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We were having breakfast—I don’t know why he chose that moment. His words were, “Our daughter tells me I should tell you that I’m moving out.” He said it would be a while because his place wasn’t ready yet. This was June 1st—by September, he said, he’d move out. We’d been married thirty-four years, and I had no idea he was building a “place.” —Cora, seventy-five I didn’t believe him at first. After eighteen years I had totally taken him for granted, and it was like a bomb going off. —Eva, sixty-one I remember sitting at the table, and he patted me on the shoulder, and I was shocked. I was terrified of losing him. The three years we were together were the happiest in my whole life; I felt my life was complete, nothing was lacking . He had a weekend trip planned with the guys, and he just went ahead with it. —Della, thirty-four Cora, Eva, and Della are neither friends nor acquaintances, but they would recognize one another on the street in their rural town in upstate New York. They know one another’s stories. Everyone does in a small town. They don’t think about how much they have in common: So Much for “Happily Ever After” NAOMI WORONOV 1 1 2 N A O M I W O R O N O V Three generations, but shock is a common theme of their stories. Three levels of education, but shame is a central theme of their stories. Three layers of vocational achievement, but financial upheaval—or chaos— is an enduring theme of their stories. Three couples spanning five decades, yet the inability to communicate is at the heart of all their stories. What follows are the women’s stories, because that is what I have. But whatever the other side of each story may be, the sudden, blunt announcements of imminent departure by these men created the sort of emotional, social, and financial havoc that is never entirely erased from a woman’s being. It can, if she lets it, define her life. What differs? The women’s responses differ, and are, to some degree, typical of their generations. Cora never divorced her husband, now deceased, and regrets it to this day. Eva wavers between intermittent tears and a fun new sex life. Della has found a “safe” man to “date” and travel with. The stories below come from interviews conducted in August 2004. As I talked to each woman, I typed her words directly into my computer, so the voices below are their own. However, for clarity and fluency, I have reorganized , cut, and edited, and I have changed all their names. Cora was born and raised on a farm, went on scholarship to college, taught school for four years, then married, and has lived in the same house ever since. Jack died last week. He had some sort of internal bleeding and in a few days he was dead. What a surprise! The girls didn’t want me to visit him in the hospital because, they said, “He’ll turn blue if he sees you.” Sixteen years ago he told me he was leaving. We were having breakfast—I don’t know why he chose that moment. His words were, “Our daughter tells me I should tell you that I’m moving out.” He indicated it would be a while because his place wasn’t ready yet. This was June 1; by September, he said, he’d move out. We’d been married thirty-four years, and I had no idea he was building a “place.” This was shortly after the birth of our first grandchild. I’d been helping [my daughter] Janet a lot as her husband was away on a job. I took her to the hospital and brought her home and stayed with her. While I was there he’d gone through all the preparation, arranged to have the house built, bought all the stuff for it while I was busy helping Janet, so to have him say that Janet told him to tell me still sticks in my craw. She knew all that time and she didn’t say a word. The transaction was done in another county so it wouldn’t be in the [54.175.5.131] Project MUSE (2024-03-29 14:58 GMT) So Much for “Happily Ever After” 1 1 3 local paper...