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86 JAMES MCPHERSON Now that Rachel, my daughter, has taken up residence in Barcelona, Spain as a teacher, I have begun to use her old bedroom in this house as an extension of my own living quarters. Each evening I sit on the edge of her bed and watch the evening news. No matter how tragic the news is (bombings in the Middle East, hurricanes and the damages they inflict, the dying economy), whenever I leave the room and turn off the overhead light a tune flows out of an attachment to the light switch, one which I installed when Rachel was a child. The unit contains the melodies of cheerful childhood songs, played on chimes. Among them are “Whistle While You Work,” “When You Wish Upon a Star,” “Hi Ho, Hi Ho,” . . . “It’s a Small World After All,” “M-I-C-K-E-Y, M-O-U-S-E” . . . and others. In recent months I have come to realize that these old tunes provided a very cheerful balance for us each night when we were going through very painful times. In recent years divorce has become a rather mundane rite of passage, but in , when I was being divorced, the trend was just beginning. My own divorce took place in Charlottesville, Virginia during a period of increasing racial antagonism . I had already won a Pulitzer Prize, and during the custody hearing, I was selected as a MacArthur Fellow. This development did not sit easily with the presiding judge. He observed in his custody decree that, without any inspection, my house was “inferior” to the house of Rachel’s mother. After reading the decree, I wrote on the back of it my resignation from the University of Virginia and moved to Iowa City, Iowa. “Hi ho, hi ho—It’s off to work we go. . . .” Now that Rachel, my daughter, has taken up residency in Barcelona, working as a teacher, I have begun to think back on the emotional experiences we shared. Beginning in  the MacArthur money was used to rent an apartment in Melodious Chimes  CH018.qxd 7/15/09 7:42 AM Page 86 MELODIOUS CHIMES 87 Charlottesville, to provide transportation between Charlottesville and Iowa City, back and forth over the years, for the two of us. When the money was exhausted I earned extra money by teaching summer school. I was able to pay Rachel’s college tuition and much of her living expenses during her time in Boston. During the summers and during some of her Christmas breaks she lived in this house, sleeping in her bedroom. Her daily exits from her bedroom sounded happiness throughout this house. “When you wish upon a star. . . .” I learned from this heartbreaking experience that one’s emotional health is saved from tragic circumstances only if one is able to locate a source of optimism , no matter how slight it may seem. The music hidden in Rachel’s light switch now cautions me to not fear the darkness of the tragic nightly news which pours from her television. My move from the entire South to Iowa City shocked my family and friends. “What about Rachel?” they asked. “At such a distance how will you maintain an emotional bond with her? You can’t escape racism. It exists in every part of this country. . . . Boy, you are sick. You are an uncaring father to require her to fly through winter snow storms. You are a coward to run away from the mess you made. . . . You got that MacArthur Fellowship so you could take time to write, not to be a babysitter. . . . ” “It’s a small world, after all. . . .” These days the cheerful chimes from the light switch continue to comfort me and to keep my spirits refreshed. A friend, an elderly woman, called me recently to express her fears about the state of the economy. “We’re doomed, doomed, Doomed!” she lamented. I tried to comfort her with humor. Another friend here, a man I have known since , was recently fired from his position as Vice President for Student Affairs. He called me recently, asking for help in writing a paper detailing the circumstances of his ordeal. I agreed to help him. Friends here tell me that I am unable to say, “No,” and tend to respond to every request, even selfish ones. But from my own point of view, I have known great pain and have grown much more sensitive to the pain of others. I believe...

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