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1 1 The Looming Crisis America Must Confront For the past twenty-eight years I have been on a quest to help, study, and understand boys who become fathers during their teenage years. The seeds of this venture were sown many years ago, back in 1980 when I was a twentytwo -year-old young man, fresh out of college. At the time, I was employed as a mental health worker in the inpatient adolescent unit of Fair Oaks Hospital, a private psychiatric facility located in Summit, New Jersey. I had taken a job at Fair Oaks to gain experience working with emotionally disturbed teenagers. One summer night while I was assigned to the 3–11 shift at the hospital, I noticed that Steve, a fourteen-year-old boy on our unit, appeared quite agitated when we returned to the unit after having dinner in the hospital cafeteria. So I asked Steve if he’d like to go for a walk to blow off some steam and tell me what was on his mind. After he accepted this invitation, I took him to an outside recreational area where we played a few games of one-onone basketball. Although Steve was only fourteen, he was a big, strong kid who stood about five feet, ten inches tall and weighed a muscular 175 pounds. Throughout our games, he pounded his body against mine and made many aggressive moves to the basket, seeming to discharge much of his pent-up anger in the process. After a while, we took a breather and sat side-by-side in the grass next to the basketball court, where we gradually cooled down and settled into a relaxed but serious conversation. As we both looked out toward the sunset, Steve slowly told me why he had been on the verge of exploding earlier that evening. He stated that he Kiselica 3rd pages.indd 1 Kiselica 3rd pages.indd 1 8/7/2008 11:18:13 AM 8/7/2008 11:18:13 AM 2 W HEN BOYS BECOME PA R ENTS became upset during dinner because he had seen a woman from another unit who reminded him of his old girlfriend. As he continued with his story, I was astounded to learn that this fourteen-year-old boy was a father! Here is the essence of what he told me: Man, I was thirteen years old when it happened. I was dating this older chick at the time. She was nineteen and owned a car so we used to do it in her car. When she told me she was pregnant, I couldn’t believe it! I thought, “How am I gonna take care of a baby?!” We talked about her getting an abortion and that’s what we planned to do but she changed her mind and decided to have the baby. She kept him for about four months but then he was taken away from her because she had a drug problem. He’s in foster care now . . . [pause] . . . I know I’ll have him some day but right now I stay away from him because I’ve got too many problems of my own . . . [pause] . . . So, when I saw that other chick in the cafeteria tonight, I thought about my old girlfriend and I was reminded of all the shit we went through together. Initially, I found it hard to believe that this boy, this confused kid, was a father. But his story was true, verified in the psychosocial records contained in Steve’s file back on the unit. That night as I listened to Steve’s account of his intense but brief experiences as a parent, I sensed turmoil in his voice and noticed a look of worry in his eyes. In that instant, it struck me how Steve’s paternity was linked to other problems in his life. It saddened me to think that this boy had been in a position at the age of thirteen to have sex with a woman (whom I discovered to be an adult) and that his relationship with her had resulted in an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy. In later conversations with Steve, I learned that he had long-term academic problems brought on by a learning disability and a lack of structure in his home. Because his parents were often embroiled in conflict, Steve developed a habit of staying out late and running away from home at an early age. By the age of thirteen...

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