Zora Neale Hurston: Collected Plays

Woofing

Woofing cast: Good Black Bertha, his wife Cliffert Lonnie Skanko Bea Ethel Girls Man 1 Man 2 Man 3 Man 4 Other men Boy Little girl Woman Time: Present. Place: Negro street in Waycross, Georgia. Setting: Porch and sidewalk, etc. Action:Through the open window of one of the shacks a woman [Bertha] is discovered ironing.A man [Good Black] is sitting on the floor of the porch asleep. She hums a bar or two, then comes to the window and calls to the man. Bertha: Good Black, why don’t you git up from dere and carry dese white folks’ clothes home? You always want money but you wouldn’t hit a lick at a snake! Good Black: Aw, shut up woman. I’m tired of hearin’ ’bout dem white folks’ clothes. I don’t keer if dey never git ’em. Bertha:You better keer! Dese very clothes took and brought you out de crack. ’Cause de first time I saw you,you was so hungry till you was walkin’laplegged . Man, you had de white-mouf, you was so hungry. (Enter another man [Cliffert] leisurely. Good Black sees him and calls.) Good Black: Hey, Cliffert, where you headed for? 202 080 four (201-220) 4/9/08 11:08 AM Page 202 Cliffert: Oh, nowhere in particular. Good Black: Come here then, fish, and lemme bend a checker game over yo’ head. Come on, youse my fish. Cliffert: (Comes to the porch and sits.) Git de checkers and I’ll have you any, some or none. I push a mean chuck-a-luck myself. Bertha: ([From] inside, quarreling) Dress up and strut around? Yes! Play checkers? Yes! Eat? Yes! Work? No!! (The game starts. A period of silence in which they indicate their concentration by frowns, cautious moves, head scratching. Good Black is pointing his index finger over the board indicating moves. He wig-wags, starts to move, scratches his head thoroughly, changes his mind and fools around without moving.) Cliffert: Police! Police! Come here and make dis man move! Good Black: Aw, I got plenty moves. (Scratches his head) Jus’ tryin’ to see which one I want to make. But when I do move, it’s gointer be just too bad for you. (A guitar is heard offstage and Cliffert brightens. He cups his hand and calls.) Cliffert: Hey Lonnie! Come here! Ha, ha, ha! I got me a fish. (Enter Lonnie picking “East Coast”2 on his box and stands watching the game. He ceases to play as he stops walking.) Ha,ha!You see ol’Good Black goes for a hard guy.He tries to know more than a mule and a mule’s head longer’n his’n. Ha, ha! I set a trap for him and he fell right in it. Trying to ride de britches! Now look at him. Good Black:Aw,shut up!You tryin’to show yo’grandma how to milk ducks. You can’t beat me playin’ no checkers. (Scratches his head again) Just watch me show my glory. Bertha: (Leans out of window) Good Black! When you gointer come git dese clothes! (He does not answer. He is trying to concentrate.) Lonnie:You got him Cliffert.You got him in [the] Louisville Loop.He’s yo’fish all right. Cliffert: (Boastfully) Man, didn’t I push a mean chuck-a-luck dat time! I’m good, better, and best. (To Good Black) Move, man! I told you not to do it. Good Black: All dat noise ain’t playin’ checkers. You just wait till I make my move. woofing • 203 080 four (201-220) 4/9/08 11:08 AM Page 203 Bertha: All right, now, Mr. Nappy-Chin! I don’t want to have to call you no mo’ to come keer dese white folks’ clothes! I’m tired of takin’ and takin’ affa you! My belly’s full clear up to de neck. I don’t need no lazy coon lak you nohow. I’m a good woman, and I needs somebody dats gointer give aid and assistance. Good Black:Aw,go ’head on,woman,and leave me be! Every Saturday it’s de same thing! Yo’ mouth exhausting like a automobile. You worse than Cryin’ Emma. You kin whoop like de Seaboard and squall lak da Coast Line.3 (Taps his head) You ain’t got all dat b’long to you, and...