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A C K N O W L E D G M E N T S ix Acknowledgments ix When I was a child and worried or complained about something—or even when I achieved something at school—my father was in the habit of remarking, “Yeah, just don’t feel too special. Look around you.” It was his way of reminding me that there is little about the human experience unique to me or unconnected to other people. In looking around me, I saw that individual successes (or failures) often hinged on the kinds of opportunities and care others offered. This book, too, is the result of the guidance, efforts, and kindnesses extended to me by many people. I am deeply grateful to the men and women who participated in this study. They accepted me as a participant in their groups and shared their lives with me. During lengthy interview sessions, they patiently and honestly answered difficult questions. Their experiences, reflections , and courage taught and inspired me. Without their openness and support, I simply could not have written this book. Many friends and colleagues supported my efforts and helped me think through this material by taking time out of very busy schedules to read and comment on chapters or the whole book, to talk with me about my analysis as it developed, or to give me a pep talk when I got discouraged. These people include Ken Aizawa, Kim VanhoosierCarey , Karin Breuer, Kent Sandstrom, Sherryl Kleinman, Kristi Long, Ilene Kalish, Jodi Campbell, Scott Thumma, Christy M. Ponticelli, x A C K N O W L E D G M E N T S Susan Brayford, and Harmony Newman. Thanks, to all of you, for your wisdom and effort. My parents, Judie and Sig, allowed me great opportunity and never wavered in their belief or support. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for just about everything. I also owe thanks to my sisters, Margie and Shara, for their patience and interest as they listened to me talk about this material for years. Several years ago, Centenary College awarded me the Mattie Allen Broyles Inaugural Year Research Chair. The additional time and resources afforded by this chair were a great benefit to this research, allowing me to collect most of the data on the women in this study. My thanks to Centenary and to the Broyles family for their support. It is to my mentor and friend, Michael Schwalbe, that I owe the deepest thanks. Much of the analysis in this book was developed during our conversations over coffee or from his incredibly insightful and thorough comments on drafts. Our work together not only has shaped how I think as a sociologist, but also has given me something to aspire to as a teacher and a human being. Your time, your lessons, and your belief in me mean so much. Finally, for the life support that I have received through years of research and writing, I am grateful to my husband, Michael Futreal. His great intellect, kindness, humor, and capacity to give were invaluable in the hours it took to craft this manuscript, prompting me to think, to laugh at my mistakes, and to keep faith and perspective. The life we have built together and the love we share are tremendous gifts. I could not make this journey without you. ...

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