Make the Connection: Improve Your Communication at Work and at Home

9. The Power of Questions

thing, when the questioner repeats your response, he often won’t clarify that you were responding to a hypothetical question . Further, there are too many variables that make speculating or hypothesizing dangerous.When you’re asked to answer this type of question, make it clear that you believe that answering hypothetical questions is dangerous and then qualify your answer this way:“Jane, as you know you have asked me a hypothetical question. Now, assuming all things were to stay the same, which is a very big assumption, here is how I see it. . . .” Then, remind Jane that if circumstances change, so would your answer. • Sometimes,you can be asked a rambling,complicated,and confusing closed-ended question that requires a simple “yes” or “no.” If you are, then don’t hesitate to respond that way. Never underestimate the eloquence of a simple, concise answer. Chapter 9 THE POWER OF QUESTIONS Too often we ignore the value of asking smart, probing, illuminating questions—mostly because we’ve been trained to focus only on answers . Many of us are obsessed with coming up with the right answers to difficult problems in the workplace. In school, students are taught to come up with the correct answers in order to get a good grade. Clearly, answers are important, but so are questions and they are too often taken for granted. Even if you’ve taken a course in communications or public speaking, you probably never incorporate questions into your presentations . Yet, lawyers, managers, teachers, doctors, and, yes, journalists, depend heavily on good questioning techniques to do their jobs. With this in mind, consider some keys to getting more out of the questions you ask both at home and at work: 22 MAKE THE CONNECTION • Make sure your questions are clear and easy to understand. Sounds simple, right? Then why is it that too often people will ask a question and you have no idea what they want to find out? Before you ask a question, make sure you know why you are asking it. • Direct your questions to a particular person. Questions asked of particular people are more effective than simply asking a question of an entire group, because you are more likely to get a direct response. Often, when questions are asked of an entire group, people are reluctant to be the first to speak up, and this method also makes it easier for audience members to hide and not participate. • One at a time. Don’t you hate those “three-part questions?” How do you know which part you are supposed to answer first? Did you ever notice that you can’t remember what the first part was? Ask one question on one subject to one person and you’ll be pleased with the results. • Follow up on a previous question that has been responded to. Something like, “Mary, how does your answer compare with what Jim said on this subject earlier in the meeting?”Another effective follow-up is a quickie encourager after someone has responded to an initial question, like, “How so?” or “For example. . . .” • Questions shouldn’t be overly confrontational (unless, of course, you have a good reason). “Why is it that you never seem to get it right, Bob?” If you are looking to scare the heck out of Bob or let him know he is about to be fired, you’ve succeeded . Questions like this can cause real communication problems. Asking the right questions is very important. In some situations it can even save your life. That’s the message from Dorothy Leeds, author of the book The Seven Powers of Questions (Perigee, 2000).You might call Leeds the queen of questions. She has spent much of her professional life trying to understand how questions fit into the communication equation . She should know. In 1982 Leeds was diagnosed with breast cancer. After a mammogram, her doctor came in to the room and said simply, Communication 101 23 “Dorothy, your tumor is malignant.” He was prepared to do a radical mastectomy, but she kept asking,“What are my options? . . . There are always options, aren’t there?” Because of her persistent questioning of different doctors, she found one who said a lumpectomy was the way to go. That doctor was right, but none of this would have happened if Dorothy hadn’t asked the right questions. Over twenty years later, Dorothy Leeds is still asking the right...