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Ironically, back in 1972, presidential candidate Edwin Muskie’s campaign collapsed because he cried at a press conference after a political opponent said critical things about his wife. Not good. No crying in baseball, in business, or in politics.You can cry on election night because you won or lost. But you can’t cry in politics because someone criticizes you or your wife. With all this said, I still believe there should be no crying in baseball or in business, except in those rare circumstances previously described. I know that some people are going to disagree with what I’m saying, but I’ve seen it too many times to ignore this important workplace issue. It’s still hard for many women not to show their emotions on their sleeves and create unnecessary problems. On the other hand, some men can be tone deaf to how their overly aggressive communication can impact others . I don’t expect this phenomenon to change anytime soon. You can’t say that there’s no crying in business, because that’s not going to work. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is just a fact of life. Finally, if a woman or a guy gets targeted as a crier, he or she could be doomed. It’s just bad for business. Chapter 97 “GET OVER YOURSELF, STEVE” I recently wrote a column regarding women crying in business. The day after it ran, I received at least a dozen e-mails from women criticizing me. One that really got my attention came from Deb Di Gregorio, president and CEO of Camarés Communications. Said Di Gregorio, “Get over yourself, Steve! No crying in business? Says who? You, a man? . . . If we had listened to your tawdry argument 20 years ago, there would have been no place for women in business, no place for a balanced work/ personal life . . . no time for men to leave work to see their kids play little league. . . . Women in the workforce have ignited dynamic and extraorRelationships , Kids, and Communication 207 dinarily positive shifts in how business is conducted. Tears? Get over it buddy.You might well benefit from the freedom of being‘weak’—or you might discover, as women have known for eons, that the ability to cry publicly and freely is the source of our strength.” Deb’s e-mail had me rethinking the crying in business issue. I talked to several women who offered feedback similar to Deb’s. In retrospect, I think I came on a bit too strong in the original column. My intention was to make the point that being overly emotional in the workplace causes real problems, not just for the person who cries, but for the person raising the issue that causes the crying. It’s funny that not a single guy responded to that column. Guys don’t think much about this stuff. Most men show their emotion or anger in ways other than crying. Of course, this is a generalization, but guys tend to show their emotion by raising their voice or occasionally using profanity. A few guys said to me that they thought I was nuts for saying that women shouldn’t cry in the workplace because it wasn’t politically correct. Okay, but my intent was not to offend women in the workplace, but rather to raise a legitimate issue that doesn’t get talked about very often. I realize now that there was a much better, more thoughtful way to do it. My goal was to get men and women to think about this issue and find some productive ways to deal with it. But the problem remains: certain leaders—like me—have a tendency to come on pretty strong on occasion. We do raise our voices. We do use “assertive” language like, “This is bullshit.” Is that okay? Probably not. But I have come to realize that the best way to deal with things that go wrong in the workplace (or at home) is not to react right away. Take a breath and ask yourself:“What exactly am I angry about and what needs to happen in order to resolve the situation?”When you do that, you tend to be less reactionary. Less strident. Another benefit is that you move away from a blaming mentality, which is so destructive. When you play the “blame game” everyone loses. That’s the key. It’s like you have to turn a switch on in your brain...

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