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Chapter 6 Aftermath Picking Up the Pieces After the execution, life goes on for the surviving family members. However, trying to find meaning again and let go of the matter that has been the focus of one’s existence for many years is not an easy task for most.The days and weeks immediately following the execution of a relative may be overwhelming. The family member often finds it necessary to relive the experience through talking about it repeatedly. In chapter 3 the different ways of coping were explored, and in chapter 4 we examined the grief process that many experience. The research literature on grief suggests that grief is more complicated when the circumstances are particularly traumatic or painful.1 Certainly, watching the state kill one’s family member in a deliberate and premeditated fashion would qualify as traumatic and painful. The ritual of executions can traumatize family members in many ways. First, it is painful to know that others want one’s loved one to die. Second, the artificial atmosphere of the execution process enhances the trauma. The family member cannot touch or comfort their relative. Instead, they must sit quietly behind a window (in those states that allow families to witness the execution) and watch a healthy person die. In many states, they have not been able to have physical contact for many years preceding the death,2 increasing the trauma. Finally, the assumption of the grief-process models is that the individuals will eventually return to “normal.”3 For family members who have experienced the execution of a relative, this may never occur. The family has been irrevocably changed. Several of my interview subjects talked about replaying the execution in their minds daily. In American society, we seem to expect, albeit unrealistically, that after a traumatic loss and a period of grieving the bereaved individual 100 will return to a state similar to what they were like prior to the execution . For many of the family members of executed individuals, there will be no return to a prior state. Instead, those with good coping resources may eventually develop a meaningful life despite their loss.4 In the remainder of this chapter, the experiences and words of the family members will serve to underscore the feelings after the executions of their relatives. Contrary to media descriptions of executions, many of these people did not view the execution as peaceful, with the offender going to sleep. Instead, it was a painful and traumatic experience. How they dealt with those painful feelings was in part related to the coping styles and resources described in chapter 3. Difficulty in Going On In late January of 2001, the telephone in my office rang. As I normally do, I picked it up after a couple of rings stating, “This is Susan.” However, after my greeting, there was silence for a moment, and then I heard what sounded like someone softly crying. When the caller finally got her breath and gave her name, I immediately understood. She was the mother of a man who had been executed two days before. Although I had not met her, I knew her name. Laverne’s son had been convicted of a particularly vicious crime more than a decade earlier. The evidence suggested that he was seriously mentally ill. He had not sought clemency, expressing remorse over his crime. I spoke with Laverne for a few moments that day. It was not the time or place to conduct a formal interview, but I understood her need to talk. She said her heart had broken watching her son die. Subsequently, I was able to interview her, but our conversation that first day had the greatest impact on me because of the rawness of her pain. She had witnessed her son’s execution so that he would have someone who loved him present, she said. But for her the experience of watching her son die was overwhelming . Now she was haunted by the visual images of the execution. When I interviewed her a few months later, she said that never an hour went by that she did not think about watching her son die. She said she had lost interest in most things, that she stayed home most of the time and did not answer her telephone. Perhaps with the passing of more time, she will be able to regain some interest in living. Although I had not met Laverne before, another interview subject had talked about her frequently...

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