Navigating Interracial Borders: Black-White Couples and Their Social Worlds

CHAPTER 4 Families and the Color Line: Multiracial Problems for Black and White Families

Families and the Color Line 109 109 CHAPTER 4 Families and the Color Line MULTIRACIAL PROBLEMS FOR BLACK AND WHITE FAMILIES , Black-white couples come together across the boundaries of race and perceived racial difference seemingly against the opposition of their communities. This is not to say, however, that the couples are free from racialized thinking, whether it be in their use of color-blind discourse or their own racial preferences, such as to date only interracially or to live in all-white neighborhoods. Nonetheless, these couples create multiracial families, not only creating multiracial families of their own but also changing the racial dynamic of the families from which they come. What significance does this have for the institution of family, and how does this play out for the white and black families to whom it occurs? It might be expected that the family is the source of the greatest hostility toward interracial relationships. It is in families that the meanings and attachments to racial categories are constructed and learned; one’s family is often “the most critical site for the generation and reproduction of racial formations .”1 This includes who is and is not an acceptable marriage partner. In white and black families, certain discourses are used when discussing black-white relationships that reproduce the image of these unions as different , deviant, even dangerous. Interracial relationships and marriage often bring forth certain racialized attitudes and beliefs about family and identity that otherwise may have remained hidden. The ways that white and black families understand and respond to black-white interracial couples and the racialized discourses they use are inextricably tied to ideas of family, community , and identity. White and black families’ (and communities’) interpretations and responses to interracial couples are part of these available 110 Navigating Interracial Borders discourses on race and race relations in our society. Many times, black-white couples provide the occasion for families to express and play out their ideas and prejudices about race and sex, which is integral to understanding the social construction of “interracial couples” within America today. All in the Family: White Families Among whites, the issue of interracial marriage is often a controversial topic, and even more so when they are asked to discuss their own views or their family’s views.2 The white community respondents in this study were hesitant to discuss their personal views on family members becoming involved interracially. One discursive strategy used by the respondents was to discuss other families they knew rather than their own views. For example, during the white focus group interviews, the first responses came from two individuals who had some experience or knowledge of interracial couples or families. Sara discussed a friend who adopted two “very dark” black children and how white people would stare at her and the children in public. Anne mentioned her niece who married a black man and said “the family is definitely against it,” which causes them problems. In group interviews with white college students, a number of the students also used stories about other interracial families they knew to explain why their family would prefer they marry someone of the same race. One college student said her family would have a problem with her marrying interracially, explaining that their opinion is based on their experiences with an interracial family in their neighborhood. She had babysat for this family and, according to her, they had “social issues because the dad was real dark and the mom was white, and the kids just had major issues.” Her choice of words reveals the importance of color and the use of a discursive strategy such as referring to the children as a problem and not the relationship itself. Like the white community respondents, interracial couples like Frank and Olivia also avoided discussing their own families directly, instead discussing the responses of other families. Frank talked about the family of another white woman he had dated before Olivia. FRANK: I was dating this Italian girl and [the family] invited me down for dinner. I was a detective [at that time], and I’ll never forget it. It wasn’t that it was derogatory, but her father sat there, he excused the women, and I’m sitting with the brothers. I’m sitting next to [the father] and he goes, “Frank, it’s not that I don’t like you, but I just Families and the Color Line 111...