Confessions

11. God and the Beginning of Time

BOOK ELEVEN Chapter 1 ~ INCE ETERNITY is Thine, 0 Lord, dost Thou not know what I am saying to Thee, or dost Thou see what is going on in time, in relation to time? Why, then, do I tell Thee the detailed story of so many things? Certainly, not for Thee to learn them through me, but to arouse my feeling of love toward Thee, and that of those who read these pages, so that we may all say: 'Thou art great, 0 Lord, and greatly to be praised.'! I have already said it/ and I shall say it again: in the love of Thy Love am I doing this. For, while indeed we pray, the Truth says: 'your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.'3 So, we lay open our feeling of love by confessing to Thee our own miseries and Thy mercies upon us, so that Thou mayest deliver us completely. For, Thou hast started us out, so that we may cease to be wretched in ourI The literary effect of repeating these words of Ps. 95.4, with which the Confessions began, is to suggest both a new division of the Confessions and a continuation of the original theme of divine praise. 2 Cf. above, 10.2.2. 3 Matt. 6.S 327 328 SAINT AUGUSTINE selves and that we may become happy in Thee; Thou hast called us, so that we may be poor in spirit, meek, mournful, hungry and thirsty for justice, merciful, pure of heart, and peacemakers.4 Behold, I have told Thee many things, to the extent that I could and would, because Thou didst first will that I should confess unto Thee, my Lord God, 'for Thou art good, for Thy mercy endureth for ever.'5 Chapter 2 (2) But, when can the voice of my pen be adequate to the task of proclaiming all Thy encouragements, all Thy terrors, consolations, and guidances, whereby Thou hast brought me to the point of preaching Thy Word and administering Thy sacrament6 to Thy people? And, if I am adequate to the task of setting them forth in orderly detail, then time's drops7 are precious to me. Now, I have for a long time been developing an ardent desire to meditate on Thy Law and to confess to Thee the extent of my knowledge and lack of skillS in it, the beginnings of Thy illumination and the things which remain in darkness 4 Matt. 5.3-9. Note that Augustine here reduces the eight beatitudes of the Sermon on the Mount to seven, just as he does in the treatise, De serm. Domini in monte l.3.10 (translated by D. J. Kavanagh in this series) where he correlates the Beatitudes with the seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit. 5 Ps. 117.l. 6 Having been consecrated as bishop, at the end of the year 395, or the beginning of 396, Augustine is already exercising his episcopal powers at the time of writing this passage. Consult Possidius, J'ita Augustini 3-~; Augustine, Epist. 21 (ad Valerium); and Serm. 339 (which is replete with autobiographical details). 7 The unceasing passing of instants of time is symbolized by the dropping of water in the clepsydra, or water-clock. S Not false modesty; Augustine was really puzzled by many points in holy Scripture, particularly in the Book of Genesis, which he now CONFESSIONS: BOOK ELEVEN 329 for me, until my weakness may be engulfed in Thy strength. I do not want the hours to flow away which I find free from the necessary tasks of replenishing the body and of mental attention and service which we owe to men and that which we give even though we do not owe it. (3) 0 Lord my God, 'be attentive to my prayer"g and let Thy mercy hear my desire, because it burns with concern, not for myself only, but wishes to be of service in fraternal charity: and Thou dost see in my heart that it is so. May I offer up to Thee the service of my thought and tongue, and do Thou grant what I may offer to Thee. 'For I am needy and poor,'10 while 'Thou art rich towards all who call upon Thee,'ll Thou who, being without care, dost take care of us. From all temerity and all lying, circumcize my lips,12 internal and external. Let Thy Scriptures be my chaste delights, to the end that I...