Tales from Kentucky Funeral Homes

2 Funeral and Burial Folk Customs

2 Funeral and Burial Folk Customs A folk custom is a way of behaving in accordance with family and community traditions from the “old times,” the good old days people often view as ideal. Folk customs are passed on from one generation to the next, and they are usually kept in place by expectations of compliance and by disapproval of violations. In early times, it was common for families to prepare for the death of a loved one. It was also common for family and gracious community members to dress dead persons’ bodies, to dig graves, and to provide homegrown flowers for grave sites and Memorial Day services. People often built their own caskets, usually called coffins, and made their own burial clothing. Amish and Mennonite communities still respect and utilize the traditional ways of preparing for and conducting burials, and the same is true for other communities in some remote sections of the Commonwealth. On occasion, despite preparation and tradition, the unexpected occurred, such as movements of a body. Sometimes funeral and burial folk customs included handling of serpents, dramatic faintings, and other “rites of passage.” But more often, funeral services and burials followed a predictable pattern. Chairs were typically provided at the grave site for bereaved family members and friends. Those without chairs stood in a circle surrounding the grave. A passage was read from the Bible and the minister provided a brief devotional. After that, the casket was lowered into the grave. Family members usually remained at the grave site even after the burial was completed in order to be the first to place a floral tribute on the newly mounded grave. There they began the process of returning to their regular way of living. Southern funerals were sad events, but they also emphasized that social existence is perpetual and enduring and helps preserve the traditional way of life. v 30 Tales from Kentucky Funeral Homes Digging Graves Was Community Responsibility I remember when digging graves was the responsibility of the neighborhood . They dug them and they filled them up. Digging of a grave was kind of a community gathering. That’s where they did most of their talking about the dead person. And these community people would remain there to watch as the casket was being covered over with soil and the grave was being filled up. The word “coffin” is still used occasionally, but “casket” is the word that is normally used in present times. Charles McMurtrey, Summer Shade, July 29, 2007 Old-Time Burial Customs It’s still possible that you can bury a member of your own family, but you can’t go out and bury a person in somebody else’s family. Legally, you can bury your own if you want to. A death certificate has to be filled out and signed by a funeral director. Amish families in and around Sonora, here in Hardin County, don’t use a funeral home. We’ve made out death certificates for them, and they just bury the dead. They don’t embalm. They make their own caskets, and they have their own services, during which they take the body out to the cemetery and bury it. That still happens. Once in a while, somebody will be buried on their own property, like people did many years ago. However, in most cases nowadays funeral homes are involved. I’ve got a great-grandfather and great-grandmother that are buried at Dead Horse Hollow, located in Meade County. They’re out in a field with cattle. The cemetery is called Brown Family Cemetery, and it is a mess. I know about where it is located, but I’ve never been there. I’m afraid of those copperhead snakes down there! Bob Brown, Elizabethtown, September 25, 2007 Homegrown Flowers Flowers for graves used to be homegrown, or perhaps made out of crepe paper. However, during spring and summer, flowers were homegrown. Funeral and Burial Folk Customs 31 And people often made them during the summer to be used later on when needed for funerals or for placing on graves on Memorial Day. Charles McMurtrey, Summer Shade, July 29, 2007 Closed Mouth We’ve gone to homes to pick up bodies, and some local person had actually taken pieces of cloth, cut them, and tied the cloth around the dead person’s chin and the top of their head in order to close their mouth. That...