Benjamin Franklin's Humor

2. Paragraphs in Philadelphia 1729–1735

27 Paragraphs in Philadelphia 2 PARAGRAPHS IN PHILADELPHIA 1729–1735 Except for two impoverished years at London, youthful Franklin flourished in Philadelphia. He printed with Samuel Keimer until 1728 when he broke off to start his own shop. Keimer then published The Universal Instructor . . . or Pennsylvania Gazette. He claimed that the city’s only newspaper, Andrew Bradford’s American Weekly Mercury, was too frivolous, but that excuse hid the fact that Keimer was undercutting Franklin’s plan to start his own newspaper. Keimer reached peak circulation of about 2501 but lost readers as Franklin, for vengeance, mocked him in the Mercury. When Keimer merely reprinted an encyclopedic piece on abortion, complete with defintions, symptoms, and prescriptions, Franklin as Martha Careful and Caelia Shortface ridiculed the article as too licentious for virtuous women readers. The two brief letters in the Mercury for 28 January 1729 were remarkable otherwise only for displaying Franklin’s ability to differentiate individual comic voices, as in these samples: Martha Careful—My Sister Molly and my Self, with some others, are Resolved to run the Hazard of taking him by the Beard, at the next Place we meet him, and make an Example of him for his Immodesty. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN’S HUMOR 28 Caelia Shortface (with Quaker “thee,” “thou,” and “thy”)—I was last Night in Company with several of my Acquaintance, and Thee, and Thy Indecencies, was the Subject of our Discourse, but at last we Resolved, That if thou Continue . . . to make Thy Ears suffer for it. For the next two months (4 February to 27 March 1729), he composed a half-dozen essays. As the “Busy-Body,” Franklin continued to follow the methods, but no longer slavishly imitated the style, of the Spectator.2 He sketched typical samples of vice and virtue by using stylized “characters” but with ironic twists of such names as Ridentius. His second sketch played variations on the theme of Spectator No. 249 as Ridentius mocks other persons with sneers “that shall pass for Wit, Noise for Reason, and the Strength of Argument . . . judg’d by that of the Lungs.” Despite the lively details, compared to his best Silence Dogood sketches, Franklin’s second Busy-Body sketch uses invective and direct narration rather than understated, dramatic scenes—and accordingly achieves weaker humorous effect. Let us take a view of Ridentius: What a contemptible Figure does he make with his Train of paultryAdmirers? This Wight shall give himself an Hours Diversion with the Cock of a Man’s Hat, the Heels of his Shoes, an unguarded Expression in his Discourse, or even some Personal Defect; and the Height of his low Ambition is to put some One of the Company to the Blush, who perhaps must pay an equal Share of the Reckoning with himself. If such a Fellow makes Laughing the sole End and Purpose of his Life, if it is necessary to his Constitution, or if he has a great Desire of growing suddenly fat, let him treat; let him give publick Notice where any dull stupid Rogues may get a Quart of Fourpenny [ale] for being laugh’d at; but ’tis barbarously unhandsome , when Friends meet for the Benefit of Conversation, and a proper Relaxation from Business, that one should be the Butt of the Company, and Four Men made merry at the Cost of the Fifth. [No. 2]3 29 Paragraphs in Philadelphia Franklin’s next Busy-Body sketch plays on the theme of Spectator No. 243, which contrasts men of probity and virtue with those who blacken and defame them. Busy-Body contrasts the virtues of a rustic gentleman of fortune, Cato, with the vices of a wellknown villain, here called Cretico, whom he dissects with sharp invective. O Cretico! Thou sowre Philosopher! Thou cunning Statesman! Thou art crafty, but far from being Wise. When wilt thou be esteem’d, regarded and belov’d like Cato? When wilt thou, among thy Creatures meet with that unfeign’d Respect and warm Goodwill that all Men have for him? Wilt thou never understand that the cringing, mean, submissive Deportment of thy dependants, is (like the Worship paid by Indians to the Devil) rather thro’ Fear of the Harm thou may’st do to them, than out of Gratitude for the Favours they have receiv’d of thee?. . . [Busy-Body appends an ambiguous disclaimer.] ’Tis to be observ’d that if any bad Characters happen to be...