With a Hammer for My Heart: A Novel

NANCY CATHERINE

NANCY CATHERINE: "Okay, Lawanda ," I said, "I hear you. And for all the hurt the old man inflicted on his own kids, it never was sexual. I'm not sure that proves anything for you, but . . . " She nodded, blew her nose in her napkin. I changed the subject. "We'd better head for that dinner. What do you suppose your mom will fix?" "Meat loaf," said Lawanda as we went out the door. "Turnip greens," as she went around the car. "Mashed potatoes," as she climbed in. "Combination salad," as she settled herself . "Pineapple upside-down cake," as she leaned forward, lifting her hair and fanning it out over the back of the seat. "Sounds like you read it off a menu," I told her. "I did. It's on the front of the refrigerator." "Every day?" This was amazing. "A week at a time. Mom says if it's not up there, she worries all day about what she's going to feed us." "And it doesn't change when you have company?" I was curious. "We added the cake," she said. "Oh." We were quiet then till we got to Lawanda's house. Her dad met us at the door. 158 NANCY CATHERINE "You better be getting in here, girl," he said to his daughter , clapping her on the shoulder. Then he looked at me. "Come in, now. Make yourself at home." "Please call me Nancy Catherine," I said. "All right. Pm Howard and June's—" "Come on in," June called from the kitchen. "It's on the table." The room was at once crowded and pinched with neatness. Lawanda got to work settling Jeff while her mother sliced the meat loaf. She stopped long enough to say hello and direct me to my chair with the knife. The meat loaf looked good enough, if you like dead cows. "I'm afraid I don't eat meat," I said. "Oh, dear—" June started. "No, I'll be fine, really. I just don't want you to think I don't like what you fixed." "Do you?" Dessie asked. She had straight crow black hair and a smart-alecky look on her face. "Dessie!" Howard Ingle sounded disappointed. "Watch your manners!" "I don't know," I said. "It's been so long since I ate meat loaf." At this point, the conversation was interrupted by the back door opening. A big lanky boy loped in. "Wash up, Ray. You're late," June told him. "Practice," he said. "Early basketball," Lawanda told me. In a minute, he was back and we all sat at the table while Howard said a graceless grace. Then came plate passing and polite conversation. June was working hard to hold my interest , Howard to hold his temper. This didn't seem to faze Lawanda. Me, it about did in. Finally, I took the plunge. "I don't know how to get us out of this mess my daddy's got us in," I told them. "Lawanda here got you in it," Howard pointed out. 159 WITH A HAMMER FOR MY HEART "True enough, but I don't regret that." Was I lying? "I needed to come back," I said, "and I would have never done it on my own." June nodded. Lawanda pushed her potatoes an inch farther from her untouched meat loaf. Maybe this was getting to her after all. "We should get Garland out," Lawanda said, "and then you can go home." "Hush!" Howard ordered. This startled Jeff and he turned over his milk. Lawanda jumped up. "Wait till the children are done, Howard," June advised. "I'll send them on the porch with their cake." Ray inhaled his food, Dessie sulked, and Jeff dawdled, but finally they were gone. "Lord have mercy," June said. "What's that for?" Howard wanted to know. "You blessed the food," June said. "I reckon I can bless the talk." They looked at each other. "Fair enough," he agreed. "What I understand from talking with Mr. Gait," I began, "is that my father is officially being held for public intoxication and resisting arrest and that bond will be set when the court meets Monday. What they're really keeping him for, though, is to give you time to work up a case against him regarding Lawanda." "What?" Lawanda's body rose with her voice, both lifted in astonishment. "That's true and you knew it...