The Shadow of Death: The Holocaust in Lithuania

16. Koshedar

16. Koshedar It was October 1942. My second furlough ended on Tuesday night; I planned to go get an extension on Wednesday morning, but Wednesday morning turned out to be too late. At five in the morningtwo Jewish policemen came to the door with an order in hand for Hershke Gordon. I said, "I am Hershke Gordon." "Get dressed and come with us." "Where am I going? Already for about a week I haven't been able to go to work and my leg is still swollen." One policeman answered, "We can do nothing. You had to extend the furlough yesterday. As long as you didn't, you have to go with us now. You will have enough time, as long as you need. We are taking you to the jail and the Jewish doctor will examine you there. If he says you cannot work, he will tell you to come back home." Uncle Abraham and Aunt Ettel, who had been brought back from the hospital, were both awake. Uncle Abraham, who had been listening to our talk, jumped up from the couch and with a nervous voice started yelling, "What do you want from us? Aren't we already punished enough by God? Isn't that enough? Now you come adding even more suffering. My wife is lying on her deathbed; the boy is in bed with a swollen leg, swollen as big as a hill, and now you want to take him away? He can't even get dressed! He cannot wear shoes! It is hard for him to even walk." The police didn't answer him. They told me again to get dressed. One policeman told the other to stay with me until I was dressed while he looked up the other people. I started Koshedar 89 getting dressed, but when 1took my leg from the bed to put on my shoe, it wouldn't go on. 1was in such pain that 1broke into a sweat. The policeman looked at me and my leg, which was swollen to twice the normal size, and told me to put on a rubber boot instead. 1found a boot and put it on, holding onto my uncle as 1 did. 1went into the room where my aunt was in bed. She saw as 1came into the room that 1was leaning against the wall, 1 was in such pain. She, too, was in great pain and upset by my situation. She began to cry and to ask the policeman, "Don't take him away from me. 1feel that these are my last few days. At leastyou could let him stay here and be here for my funeral. 1 treated him as good as his own mother." He answered, "If it was my mother's funeral, it couldn't be." What happened then 1will never forget as long as 1live. The policeman started to cry. He had seen my pain as 1 got dressed and he felt my aunt's pain at my leaving; now he was crying bitter tears. My aunt calmed down a little, and the policeman said to me, "You wait here. 1will go myselfto Dr. Goldberg and see if! can get the furlough. Don't go anywhere ortry to hide; justwaithere until 1 get back." He left and 1sat on my aunt's bed. My uncle was pacing back and forth nervously, saying nothing. The silence lasted for an hour. At eight in the morning the policeman came in with his head hanging and told me that the doctor would not give me any furlough. "I have to go like this," 1asked, "with one shoe and one boot? Where are we going? Should 1 take some clothes or something with me?" "Don't take anything. The doctor down there will give you a furlough and send you back home." Aunt Ettel began to cry again and now 1would go through the worst. 1 had to say goodby to my aunt and uncle. 1 went up to Uncle Abraham, hugged and kissed him and told him, "Be well. Be healthy. Good day." His eyes were filled with tears, but he was trying to hold them back for the sake of Aunt Ettel. My 90 The Shadow of Death heart was heavy as I walked up to her bed and hugged her. She wouldn't let me go. She pulled me to her, squeezing me stronger and stronger. She...