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15. New Life and New Work Mter the massacre my whole family and I saw that there was no hope of crawling out of the lion's claws. It was only a matter of time. The moment would arrive when the bloodthirsty animal would tear us apart as it had torn apart ten thousand other Jews. We had no choice but to wait for death. We had no valuables , even ifwe could have found a trustworthy Lithuanian to hide us. We had come naked from the little ghetto and often went to bed hungry, so how could we think ofsaving ourselves? We had to tear the empty illusions from our heads. One nice morning I went out to work at the airport. I was standing in line waiting for the guards to come pick us up when two Jewish police ran up to the line and stood me to one side, saying, "Don't go anyplace; stay right here." Who knew for what or where they would take me? Before long they pulled out seven other boys my age and put us in two lines offour each. They took us through the gate to a German guard. The guard looked us over and told us to follow him. We passed by the Slobodka bridge and turned onto the main street. On the corner ofDuonelaicio we came to a stop in front of a large hotel. The German took us into the kitchen through the back entrance. He told the chefthat he had brought eight Jews, and the chefcame up to stare at us. Our eyes and noses, however, were drawn toward the food. The aroma was tearing my nose apart. The big German officers stayed in this hotel. The cheftold us that we would have to drive sixty miles to load some potatoes and bringthem back to the kitchen and that a Lithuanian would come with a truck to drive us there. "In the meantime," he said, 76 The Shadow of Death "I will give you something to eat." Can you imagine our feelings as we heard the word "food"? Our mouths started watering. Soon we were sitting down at the table in the kitchen. The first course was a big plate of German potato salad with little pieces ofmeat in it. In the blink ofan eye that plate was cleared. It was not just empty; the dishwasher didn't even have to wash it! The second thing we got was a soup thick with meat and fresh little carrots. It tasted like manna from heaven. After this came dessert: pudding with marmalade on top. When we finished dessert, we were feeling hungry instead of starved. Nobody moved from the table. The cheflooked at us and saw what was going on, so he said, "Ifyou want more to eat, you can get more." Everybody got up with his plate and the real meal started. One after another would come and go with his plate. I didn't count how many servings the others had, but I know that I had six bowls ofsoup. Everyone in the kitchen stared at us, wonderingwhere we put it all. When our stomachs were full we moved from the table into the yard where the Lithuanian driver was waitingfor us. He told us to crawl into the back of the truck for the ride to the little town of Ariogala. No other guard went with us. The truck was open and as we rode the wind cut through our clothes and chilled us to the bone. It took three hours, and all that time we talked only about the food we had eaten at the hotel. Atthe field where we were supposedto loadthe potatoes were many Lithuanian farmers with carts full ofpotatoes they had to give up to the Germans without pay. The Lithuanians looked at us with ouryellow stars and gathered around us, crossing themselves . They told us they had thought there were no Jews left alive. One farmer took out a big loafofdark bread and gave it to me. Another farmer gave me a large piece of cured pork. They gave us whatever they had. It was a different world. When the Lithuanian who had brought us saw that we were taking too long to load the potatoes, he yelled to the farmers to get away and told us to start loading. While we filled the truck, the driver went to warm himself in a little bar by the road. We started talking...

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