One Family Under God: Love, Belonging, and Authority in Early Transatlantic Methodism

5. Celibacy in the Methodist Family: The Case Against Marriage

Chapter  Celibacy in the Methodist Family: The Case Against Marriage It is sixteen years this day, since my husband went from me, and from that time I have believed I should see him no more in this world; but from that time, thou my God, hast been my husband, father, and friend. My wants have been richly supplied out of thine abundant fullness through Christ Jesus. ‘‘I need no man, who all possess, In Jesu’s heartfelt love.’’ —Sarah Crosby, diary entry, February ,  When Englishwoman Sarah Crosby wrote this entry in her journal, she was marking the anniversary of starting her new life as a celibate Mother in Israel.1 In , when her husband had deserted her, she had already been a Methodist for over six years, having been inducted into the group by John Wesley. Her husband’s desertion, however, provided the impetus for a new stage in her life, in which she had a more fruitful commitment to Methodism . In , four years after Mr. Crosby’s exit, she went from being a sister to a mother in the connection, leading class meetings and preaching to large groups. Her story provided a direct example for other Methodists of how crucial it was to form the right sorts of social bonds. Mr. Crosby was probably a poor choice as a lifelong spiritual partner; her Methodist family was better. The difficulty of finding a good spiritual partner raised the question of whether sexual activity, marriage, and family formation were essentially good for the soul. Methodists, like their Baptist competitors, were critical of some social activities, a position that earned them a puritanical image.  Chapter  At the same time, Methodists participated in an ecstatic worship and discourse that seemed to contradict their repressive image. Nonetheless, religious ecstasy oriented believers to the shared rituals of the Methodist connection. In the same way, the practice of celibacy oriented some prominent believers toward the Methodist family, away from competing allegiances to husbands, wives, and children. Eighteenth-century Methodists often thought of themselves as following the lives of primitive Christians in their fellowship, persecution, social ways, simplicity, and spiritual ardency. Methodists revived an early Christian ideal of a fellowship composed of unmarried, celibate members.2 In addition, eighteenth-century Methodists revived less distant debates over whether marriage was beneficial for the truly devout. During the Protestant Reformation, Protestants had insisted that Catholic priestly celibacy encouraged deviant, illicit sexuality. Protestants distinguished themselves from Catholics in their positive view of marriage . In the seventeenth century, Puritans in England and America made marriage and the family the cornerstone of the church.3 While Puritans had focused on the family as the central unit of worship, early Methodists focused on the individual convert. Because of the focus on individual conversion as central to Methodist faith, there was no presumption of converting families in early Methodism. This focus on individual faith, rather than family worship, prompted a radical reconsideration of the purpose of marriage and family formation within the first seventyfive years of Methodism. In the eighteenth century, various religious groups were reconsidering sex and its utility for religious individuals.4 Shaker founder Ann Lee devised a religious order that included gender segregation and celibacy after having visions of carnal sins in , while jailed in Manchester , England.5 She took her visions to America, where she founded a community that strove to free individuals from traditional familial needs and procreation in order to devote their energies to achieving salvation.6 As a decidedly different approach, Moravians considered sex and reproduction to be entirely consistent with religious norms, particularly when these practices were oriented toward communal goals. Eighteenth-century Methodists also prioritized the communal family and individual salvation over blood families and earthly desires, but many prominent Methodists decided that sexual abstinence was the only way to remain truly religious. Single, unattached Methodists were held up as ideals of religiosity, especially in the eighteenth century. John Wesley was somewhat conflicted about whether marriage was a beneficial path for the truly religious. He Celibacy  tended to be suspicious of the value of marriage, perhaps reflecting on his own matrimonial failures. Some early Methodists felt that marriage would prompt Methodist brothers and sisters to put their private concerns for spouses and families above their collective religious goals. Celibate individuals would not have a conflict between their own families and the larger Methodist family. A celibate member was always a convert first and...