Sexes: The Marriage Dialogues

Duly Noted

48 Duly Noted “A man called yesterday and asked if I was a housewife.” “And?” “I listened and told him I’m not married to a house.” They were sitting on their porch, she on the glider, he in a chair. She was gliding higher than usual. “For men we’re either seen as adjuncts or bodies on call—nothing in between.” “I see you as Barbara—what’s wrong with that?” “But this Barbara doesn’t have your options, John.” “Options?” “Opportunities, outlets . . .” He leaned forward and smiled, “As a man I can do push-ups, make war, make out, make trouble— all kinds of good things.” She pushed the glider higher, “I’m saying that women live in a masculine world, John, and you’re not listening to me.” She’d said these things before, and there was nothing he could do but nod. 49 “The influence of women is never minor in this world,” he said, “and you’d be wrong to underestimate it.” “I don’t, but what we do is always indirect—suggestions here, entrapments there.” “But isn’t power always strongest when it’s indirect?” “Maybe, but it takes too much imagination, too much time.” “What would you prefer?” “Equality,” she said and stopped the glider in mid-glide, “equality, equality, equality.” He leaned back in his chair and smiled a half-smile and said, “Barbara, if that’s what you want, I have to tell you as a man equality’s a long way down.” ...