Sexes: The Marriage Dialogues

Rank and Fool

41 Rank and Fool “I hate to see soldiers marching in formation,” she said. “It takes discipline,” he muttered. “But what’s the point?” “The point is that it makes a group into a unit, teaches men to act on command, instills obedience.” They’d had this talk too often to be ill prepared. His time as a marine had left its mark—shoes buffed to a high polish, trousers creased to the cuffs, and haircuts militarily exact with judgments to match. Her tactic was to speak, then wait. “It’s all a front,” she said, “so strangers can kill strangers—murder incognito.” “It’s been that way since wars began.” “Even courage doesn’t matter,” she continued, “ . . . the side with the best weapons wins.” “All wars are decided in the end by men with guns in their hands.” 42 She stood and sashayed to his chair and said, “I think all wars should be fought naked.” He shook his head and laughed in her face. She repeated, “I think all wars should be fought naked.” “What genius came up with that?” “Just me—on my own.” “Forget it.” “No one would be able to fight in the cold months, and in the hot months no one could recognize the enemy because everyone would be in the same uniform.” “How can men make war naked, for God’s sake?” “That’s just what I said.” “Say it again.” “You said it for me.” “I said that men can’t make war naked.” “And I agree.” He tried to laugh, but the laugh never happened. “Who gave you that idea?” he asked and shrugged the shrug of the self-entrapped. “Your dad.” “My dad?” “He told me once that couples who argue naked find ways to work things out.” “He said that?” 43 “It worked for us, didn’t it?” “We’re people, not armies!” he shouted and turned away. “I give you a logical, irrefutable way to keep people from killing one another, and you get mad.” “Why not?” “You even agreed with me a minute ago.” “I was just repeating what you said.” “What’s wrong with what I said?” “Men can’t make war naked, Rebecca!” “Bravo!” she told him, “I couldn’t have said it better.” ...