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Winner, 2012 Northern California Book Award for Fiction in Translation

More faithful to the original text and its deeply resonant humor, this new translation of The Twelve Chairs brings Ilf and Petrov’s Russian classic fully to life. The novel’s iconic hero, Ostap Bender, an unemployed con artist living by his wits, joins forces with Ippolit Matveyevich Vorobyaninov, a former nobleman who has returned to his hometown to look for a cache of missing jewels hidden in chairs that have been appropriated by the Soviet authorities. The search for the chairs takes them from the provinces of Moscow to the wilds of the Transcaucasus mountains. On their quest they encounter a variety of characters, from opportunistic Soviet bureaucrats to aging survivors of the old propertied classes, each one more selfish, venal, and bungling than the last. A brilliant satire of the early years of the Soviet Union, as well as the inspiration for a Mel Brooks film, The Twelve Chairs retains its universal appeal.

Table of Contents

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  1. Cover
  2. p. 1
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  1. Title Page, Copyright Page
  2. pp. 2-7
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  1. Contents
  2. pp. vii-11
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  1. Foreword
  2. pp. xi-xxvi
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  1. Translator’s Introduction
  2. pp. xxvii-xxviii
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  1. Part One: The Lion of Stargorod
  2. pp. 3-33
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  1. 1. Bezenchuk and the Nymphs
  2. pp. 5-16
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  1. 2. The Demise of Madame Petukhova
  2. pp. 17-26
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  1. 3. The Sinner’s Mirror
  2. pp. 27-36
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  1. 4. The Muse of Distant Travel
  2. pp. 37-42
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  1. 5. The Registrar’s Past
  2. pp. 43-64
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  1. 6. The Smooth Operator
  2. pp. 65-74
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  1. 7. Diamond Smoke
  2. pp. 75-82
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  1. 8. Traces of the Titanic
  2. pp. 83-88
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  1. 9. The Little Sky-Blue Thief
  2. pp. 89-102
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  1. 10. Where Are Your Curls?
  2. pp. 103-112
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  1. 11. The Parakeet, the Repairman, and the Fortune-Teller
  2. pp. 113-124
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  1. 12. The Alphabet, the Mirror of Life
  2. pp. 125-140
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  1. 13. A Passionate Woman, a Poet’s Dream
  2. pp. 141-154
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  1. 14. Breathe Deeper, You’re Excited!
  2. pp. 155-174
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  1. 15. The Union of the Sword and the Plowshare
  2. pp. 175-188
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  1. Part Two: In Moscow
  2. pp. 189-219
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  1. 16. Amid an Ocean of Chairs
  2. pp. 191-194
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  1. 17. The Brother Berthold Schwartz Dormitory
  2. pp. 195-210
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  1. 18. Respect Your Mattresses, Citizens!
  2. pp. 211-218
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  1. 19. The Furniture Museum
  2. pp. 219-228
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  1. 20. European-Style Voting
  2. pp. 229-240
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  1. 21. From Seville to Granada
  2. pp. 241-254
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  1. 22. Corporal Punishment
  2. pp. 255-268
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  1. 23. Ellochka the Cannibal
  2. pp. 269-278
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  1. 24. Absalom Vladimirovich Iznurenkov
  2. pp. 279-290
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  1. 25. The Motorists’ Club
  2. pp. 291-304
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  1. 26. Conversation with a Naked Engineer
  2. pp. 305-314
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  1. 27. Two Visits
  2. pp. 315-320
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  1. 28. The Excellent Jailhouse Basket
  2. pp. 321-330
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  1. 29. The Little Hen and the Pacifi c Rooster
  2. pp. 331-342
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  1. 30. The Author of “The Gavriliad”
  2. pp. 343-354
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  1. 31. The Mighty Handful, or the Gold-Seekers
  2. pp. 355-364
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  1. 32. In the Columbus Theater
  2. pp. 365-380
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  1. Part Three: Madame Petukhova’s Treasure
  2. pp. 381-411
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  1. 33. A Magical Night on the Volga
  2. pp. 383-396
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  1. 34. A Pair of Unclean Animals
  2. pp. 397-410
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  1. 35. Expulsion from the Garden of Eden
  2. pp. 411-420
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  1. 36. The Interplanetary Chess Congress
  2. pp. 421-438
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  1. 37. And Others
  2. pp. 439-448
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  1. 38. A View of a Malachite Puddle
  2. pp. 449-458
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  1. 39. Cape Green
  2. pp. 459-468
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  1. 40. Under the Clouds
  2. pp. 469-480
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  1. 41. Earthquake
  2. pp. 481-494
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  1. 42. Treasure
  2. pp. 495-506
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  1. Translator’s Notes
  2. pp. 507-575
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