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76 LIGHTS OUT Time for lights out, the close of music class, the room is dimmed, we’re shoeless, the twoand three-year-olds flopped down, sprawled on laps, or curled alone, so many arms, legs, awry like branches of a spreading tree, a tree with years of growth to come, and my resplendent child, flat on her back on the rug, knees up, pressing into my side, we’re hip to hip, the teacher strums a guitar, singing a lullaby I alone remember from far back, I the sole grandmother among the long-legged mothers, weary nannies, I try to sing but find my throat is choked, surprise tears, the warmth at my hip, the child’s long lashes, her perfection, the gladness like a geyser shooting skyward, who ever thought I’d know this moment, awe so keen it mimics pain, what a relief to have the lights restored, the music stop, the kids spring up, the coats, hats, shoes, clutter, clatter of departure, my heart slowed down. I could die right now and wouldn’t mind, knowing the feel of her, the trust. We are each other’s for however long, warm hip to hip. ...

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