Belmour: A Modern Edition

Chapter 33

✦ 261 ✦ Emily felt provoked with herself.—“Had I not,” thought she, “betrayed so foolish an emotion, I might have convinced Dr. Stanmore how little necessary were his cautions.” This subject was not, however, again renewed by Dr. Stanmore, except occasionally, and then only in general terms—he thought, as he had said, that it was improbable Emily, circumstanced as she was, should ever again meet with the stranger; and that dwelling unnecessarily on such a subject was not a likely way, to lessen the impression already made on her mind. Chapter 33 a year had now elapsed since Emily’s return to England, and the hours had passed on her side in quiet occupation and content. But Dr. Stanmore, although too wise to lose the enjoyment of present moments in idle fears for the future, could not, without the most serious anxiety, reflect on Emily’s situation, dependant on his frail existence, which age rendered every day more precarious, for support; for his living was little more than sufficient for his establishment, and for that ready assistance to such of his parishioners as required and deserved his care. This he had frequently hinted to Emily, and thought it now an indispensable duty, not only strongly to set before her eyes, but to recommend to her sound understanding the only means of preserving to herself that independence of spirit, necessary to noble minds.—“I have been disappointed, I will confess,” said he to Emily, “in the hope, which circumstances seemed, while you were abroad, to favour, a suitable establishment for you; but, my child, happiness depends not on situation, and ✦ 262 ✦ your mind prone, I well know, to thought and reflection, will prevent you from now starting at the idea of acquiring support and independence by your own talents.—They are such, and it has been the study of my life to render them so, as may adapt themselves to any situation.—In short, my child, such is the pain and anxiety which I feel at the thoughts of leaving you exposed to this unfeeling world, unprotected as you will be, that I must, with your concurrence, consider seriously in what way at some future period of time those talents can best be employed for your support.—This is not a brilliant prospect,” continued he with a sigh, “but you will ever, I feel certain, in any situation possess that first of blessings, which virtue and innocence alone can give, a clear and unsullied conscience; and for the rest we must trust to that merciful and all-seeing Providence, on whom all things depend.” Emily answered Dr. Stanmore with calmness and resignation , assuring him, that on all occasions she was ready, to be guided by his judgment.—“I should ill have profited,” added she affectionately, “by your precepts, had I not so governed my mind, as to be prepared for the mere frowns of fortune!—Let me but now enjoy with you the flattering satisfaction of contributing to your comfort, and endeavouring in some degree to repay your infinite care and tenderness.—I ask no more,—you shall hereafter, as you please, dispose of me; and by your wisdom and advice, long, long may my future days be governed.” Though Emily had with fortitude supported this conversation , yet, after she had quitted Dr. Stanmore, she felt many melancholy reflections crowd on her mind: it was not the want of fortune, or even the necessity of employing her talents for subsistence, that deeply affected her; but the idea, that when she lost her kind protector, she lost her all on earth, and should remain a lonely, insulated, wandering being in this wide world!—she whose heart was formed for every tender, every social affection. The time, too, now drew near, when she ✦ 263 ✦ knew that a temporary separation at least must take place between her and Dr. Stanmore, which did not serve to raise her spirits. The parsonage required some necessary and considerable repairs, which would for a time render the house not habitable .—Dr. Stanmore too had some affairs to settle in Cornwall (his native country) concerning the property of a small house which he had sold; but for which, from some difficulty in proving the title, he had never received payment. This difficulty being likely to be removed were he on the spot, he thought this a good opportunity for taking the journey, particularly as he knew, that...