Belmour: A Modern Edition

Chapter 18

✦ 157 ✦ After going over all the walks, which were lighted up in the prettiest manner, and omitting no part of the entertainment, Lady Clementina at length proposed to return home. The morning had already dawned before they entered the carriage, and the rays of the sun shortly afterward spread a sufficient degree of light, for Belmour clearly to distinguish the beautiful , though pale cheek of Emily; her look was thoughtful, and almost dejected, and her fine eyes were less frequently turned towards him, than he was accustomed to see them. When they stopped at her door, Belmour trembled as he alighted to hand her out of the carriage, and scarcely ventured to press her hand, as he took leave of her.—“I have been fast asleep,” cried Lady Clementina, rubbing her eyes, “and so I believe you have all been, for I have never once heard the sound of your voice the whole way.—You will come to dinner tomorrow, as usual; and you, cousin, I don’t ask.” Chapter 18 the lateness of the entertainment of the preceding night left Belmour little hope of meeting Emily in the morning; he, however, rose, and walked at the accustomed time to a romantic little valley, a favourite scene of Emily’s, where, seated at the foot of a tree, he had first seen her drawing.—“Scenes of the happiest moments I have passed,” exclaimed he, casting his eyes around, and sighing bitterly; “still, still with pleasure I behold you, though my foreboding mind whispers to me, that the charm which bound me to you is lost perhaps forever !”—For a considerable time he stood with his arms folded across his breast, and lost in thought—then suddenly recol- ✦ 158 ✦ lecting himself, “Yet,” said he, “she is not gone from me, I shall again behold her—but will her eyes be turned to me as usual, with the gentle expression, at least, of friendship?—for thus I have seen them!”—Again he sighed—he was vexed and angry with himself—he felt conscious, that his prudence had in some measure forsaken him the preceding evening, to which a thousand circumstances had unavoidably contributed.—How could he explain?—how could he attempt at an excuse, when he dared not avow the cause of his errour?—The feeling of suspense which he now suffered was intolerable; and after walking about for some time, he was going towards home, with an intention, as he passed, of inquiring at Emily’s door whether she were up—when, just as he turned, he perceived St. Fort at a distance, as it seemed, coming towards him.—“Curse on thee!” said he to himself, “that thus, like an evil genius, crossest me wherever I go!”—He knew that if he did not instantly avoid St. Fort, he would tack himself to him, and follow him wherever he went. Pretending, therefore, not to see him, he turned quickly into another path, and by crossing two or three different meadows, easily escaped. It was not doubtful, but that St. Fort would call on Lady Clementina, and that she would invite him to her house, as he was a man of the world, and known to everybody. Belmour therefore in idea already saw him established in their society, and dreaded him as a malicious spy over every look, every word he might utter. After rambling about for some hours, Belmour called at Lady Clementina’s door, and at Emily’s, but was told by the servants, that they were still in their rooms; he therefore gave up the hope of seeing Emily that morning, and expected the hour of dinner, when he depended on meeting her at Lady Clementina’s with anxious impatience. When Belmour, at the accustomed hour, arrived at his cousin’s, she ran forward, the moment he entered the room, with evident marks of disappointment on her countenance.— ✦ 159 ✦ “Would you believe it, Belmour,” said she, “Emily,” (for so she familiarly called Mrs. Courtenay) “has sent me an excuse, and will not dine here today?—Mr. Courtenay,” she says, “is just arrived ; and though I wrote her word, that I begged she would bring him, she will not come, but entreats of me to excuse her.—Indeed but I do not excuse her!—and I think it quite disagreeable of her.—I am sure, if I be not to see her as usual, because Mr. Courtenay is...