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80 Bang This is what will happen— you will step from your cab & your dog will be so excited he will pee on your new Italian shoes. Your sister—a woman with neither pets nor children who you left in charge of both— will weep she’s so delighted you are back & soon she can go home. Your three year old will jump up to hug you and knock your glasses off. This is what you’ll hear— your sister telling you she mangled the front bumper on your new car, your daughter asking what you brought her, your son saying he really really missed you, the crunching sound of the family dog eating your bifocals 81 & you will wish you were back in Italy watching silent movies. You will have a strong desire to stick your fingers in your ears. Don’t. Instead imagine you are Kate Bruce, the kindly mother in nearly every Griffith short. Smile as only she could— then open your arms wide and welcome in your life. ...

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