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168 20 Yanked from Retirement Walter, it’s Jeff Kiernan.” He’s the Channel 2 news director. “I have something I’d like to run by you, you and Bill Kurtis . . . to do our ten o’clock broadcast. Rob [Rob Johnson, Channel 2’s ten o’clock anchor] will be off on the Friday after next. I’d like you two to sit in for him.” I’m dumbfounded, then flattered, then intrigued. “Interesting idea. It’d be fun to do. But you’re in the sweeps. And—” “So what?” “You’ll get nailed by the press for concocting a stunt for the ratings.” “I don’t care about that. It’s not a stunt. I want a straightforward broadcast. No nostalgia stuff, or yapping small talk. And I’d like you to do a commentary.” “Are you serious, Jeff? Why?” “I grew up watching Channel 2 News. You guys are Chicago. I’d like to see you again.” “A regular thirty minutes, including weather and sports?” “Yes, and the commentary. The ten o’clock news the way you did it when you started.” “That was thirty-six years ago. I haven’t read a prompter in three and a half,” I say, remembering what it’s like when that dreadful thing stops in midsentence, or goes into reverse. Oh, so what? It may even be part of the fun if I blow it. It’s just one night. I’m seventy-three, my anchor days are long gone. I’m not looking for an audition. What’s to lose? “Okay, Jeff. Why not? What about Bill?” “He’s excited about the idea.” “Great. I’d love to do it.” “Good, Walter. Thanks. We can pay you eight hundred dollars.” “That’s fine, Jeff. It’s not the money. You said you want a commentary? How long, and on what subject?” “A minute, minute-fifteen. On whatever you want. Something local, related to the news of the day. However you want to do it. In shirtsleeves and suspenders?” “ YA N K E D F R O M R E T I R E M E N T 169 “You don’t think that’ll look like an act?” “No, I don’t. But wear what you want. Be comfortable.” “Have you told Rob and the staff?” “Rob’s all for it. We’ll tell the staff the day before and then notify the press.” And so he does; and he buys space in the papers for a picture of Bill and me anchoring at Channel 2 thirty-seven years ago. When word gets out, it spreads, and the columnists and talk-show hosts begin talking about it. Bill and I are asked, and happily oblige, to make the rounds like, I hate to say it, celebrities. I write a commentary about the bumps in Mayor Daley’s road: You’d think that a polished politician like Daley is too smart to do dumb things, but he’s doing them anyway. He is so flummoxed by the recession that he’s over the edge on how to handle it . . . choking on a budget that’s $500 million in the red . . . planning to run fewer buses and trains . . . telling Chicago police to take four weeks off without pay, even though the force already is two thousand officers short of being able to serve and protect . . . allowing labor unions to charge outrageous fees for setting up conventions at McCormick Place . . . having residents and tourists lug around pockets full of quarters to plug parking meters . . . throwing away money (like Jay Cutler throws away passes) on a lawsuit to prevent us from finding out how a friend got a $100,000 no-bid city contract. So what’s going on with His Honor? Is it possible, as some insiders are whispering, that he’s had enough, and is seriously considering not running for reelection? Can it be that he’s so unhappy about losing the Olympics and being abused by the media, and so worn-out by tales of corruption and pals in prison, that he’s thinking of bowing out? The next day, when asked about my commentary, the mayor brushes it off and adds one of his own. “Listen,” he says, “I’m still here and [Walter’s] been out of Channel 2 for a long time. Like anything else, he needs publicity and Channel 2 needs help. I don’t know if he’s helping them.” All-in-all, as Kiernan figures...

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